nhl one-shots | multi

end of days | m. barzal

Summary: Y/N had been doing her best to give Mat everything he wanted, she was the perfect girlfriend until suddenly it became too hard

Warnings: Uhhhh mental health talk. There is no talk of self-harm in here <3

Requested: Yes!

From Prompt List 9 and 17

There was no way to tell when Y/N had started to fall out of love with life. There was no specific time or day, but over the span of 3 months, she had started to feel as though she was going through more than a rough patch. Not that Mat was aware, her boyfriend was a hockey player and his head was constantly in a whirlwind of press and stats- always worried about scoring the next hat trick and winning the next game. She didn't blame him. How could she? He had been nothing but amazing to her and given her anything she needed. All he asked for in return was that she love him.

But even that was proving to be a challenge.

Y/N loved Mat more than anything, he was her best friend- It wasn't his fault that she was feeling this way and it wasn't hers either. This was something normal that people dealt with everyday, It was just hard to admit because Y/N was scared Mat would see her differently. She wanted to keep pretending that everything was fine. Maybe if she didn't acknowledge it, the problem would go away. It was hard to tell her boyfriend that something was wrong because he claimed that Y/N was the perfect girl, she was gorgeous both inside and out and they got along swimmingly. She didn't want to burst that image he held for her.

But even he could see that the light in her eyes was diminishing.

It had been a long day at work when Y/N came home to find her and Mat's shared apartment filled with people. She wasn't expecting him to be home after the game- they won so she was sure that he would have gone out for drinks and a party at a bar or one of the other player's house. But it seemed as though it was his turn to throw the party and he had neglected to tell her.

Walking in, the apartment was thumping with music and there was a smell of weed filling the air. A smokey haze filled the apartment and she felt herself starting to become overwhelmed. Looking at who had entered the house- Mat was in the middle of the living room which had been turned into a dance floor, his eyes widening happily as he saw his beautiful girlfriend.

He bounded over like a puppy and greeted her with a big hug and kiss, her body was tense against his but he hadn't noticed. "We won!" He cheered, causing the now drunken mob in their apartment to cheer as well. Giving Mat a look, Y/N wasn't in the mood for a party- she was angry that he hadn't asked her but more so than that, she was just exhausted.

Not that he knew that, Mat was sure that all Y/N needed was to be around their friends and in a happy environment- it would act like a kickstarter right?

The girl had become so discontent with her ife and this was the last thing she wanted. In all honesty Y/N wasn't sure what she wanted. She loved Mat and didn't want to lose him, but she didn't feel up for entertaining. She didn't feel up for anything- most days it was a struggle to get out of bed and she didn't know what to do.

Mat pulled away and frowned upon seeing her look so distant and absent. He gave Tito a wave and jerked his thumb towards the Door. Instantly getting the message, his friend had done quick work of clearing everyone out- not wanting to cause a scene they simply stated that they were going to continue the party at the bar down the street.

Within 10 minutes, everyone had cleared out and Mat had the place clean. It gave Y/N sometime to go into their bedroom and change into some pyjamas- wiping her makeup off. Staring at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, she noticed just hw drained she looked. Her eyes had dark circles under them and her skin was pale. She had lost quite a bit of weight over the last few months since these feelings started surfacing. There was no desire to do anything in life, let alone eat.

Mat walked behind her and leaned against the bathroom door. "Hey... Whats going on?" He asked her. His thoughts were racing and he was pretty sure that a family member had passed or maybe she finally hit the breaking point and wanted to break up.

Glancing up at him in the reflection, Y/N sucked in a harsh breath and turned around- she had tears welling in her eyes and just broke down. Upon seeing her fall into a fit of sobs, Mat moved closer and wrapped her up in his arms- his warm embrace hopefully distracting her from the cold and harsh emotions she was going through. "I need help.." Her voice came out weak and nervous.

"Hey hey hey its okay... Whats wrong baby?" He ran his fingers through her hair as they slowly slid down onto the floor- mat's back pressing into the cold bathtub as he let the girl sob against his chest. It took a few minutes for her to really get all the crying out of her system so that she could actually form a sentence- her eyes were puffy and red by the time she was done and mat's shirt was covered in tears and sadness.

He cupped her cheek and pressed a kiss against the top of her head, not caring whether or not he was dirty now. "Take your time... Tell me when you're ready." He soothed her, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles and wiping the last of her tears.

Taking a deep breath, Y/N nodded softly and gulped. She wiped her face and pushed the hair out of her face before staring down at her hands. "I don't know what's wrong with me Mat... I just- I feel so broken..." she admitted to him. To hear her speak so quietly and her words so simple broke Mat's heart- he hated that he had been so caught up in his own life that he hadn't noticed just how badly she needed him.

"I just feel discontent with everything mat... Im tired all the time- I'm emotionally exhausted, I have no desire to do anything..." she started rambling, explaining that she didn't feel as though she deserved him and that she felt like life was just passing her by but she had no motivation to really live her life. She wasn't suicidal by any means, but she didn't have the energy to go out and enjoy her life.

As mat listened, he couldn't help but start to ask questions. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" He asked, voice cracking as he started to get emotional- he loved Y/N so much and to see her so hurt made him feel awful, especially since he wasn't able to fix it. But boy, he was going to try.

The girl picked at her finger nails before Mat pressed his palm on top of her, stopping her from biting to the nail beds. She looked up at him sheepishly and gulped. "I just wanted to make you happy- I didn't want to ruin how happy you were just because Im a little sad." She felt a few tears slip past her eyes and wiped them away.

Mat gulped, his brows furrowing as he leaned back against the tub and looked up at the ceiling. His bottom lip trembled and his hair was becoming disheveled as he ran his fingers through it, tugging at the dark brown locks. His stress was eating at him and he knew he had to find a way to help her. But he also needed to know if she wanted him around. "Do you still love me?" His voice was weak as if he was almost scared of her answer- and in reality, he was.

Y/N immediately looked up at him and gasped. "Yes of course... Mat I love you so much- that will never change." She took his hands and held them tightly. Mat listened to ever single thing she said, hoping to somehow find a way to help her, he was no doctor by any means but it sounded to him like she was depressed.

"Would you be open to us making a doctor appointment? Maybe they can offer us some help?" He spoke hesitantly, the last thing he wanted was to make her feel terrible- he knew how private she was and he wasn't sure that she would be open to the idea of getting professional help.

"If it doesn't work there is no harm done- but if they can somehow give us some resources, it might really be worth it." He pushed. The girl thought about it for a few moments. Nodding softly, she played with his fingers. "Okay..." she agreed, if mat thought ti would help then she would try anything- she was tired and this wasn't how she wanted the rest of her life to be.

Letting out a sad smile, Mat held her against his chest and kissed her cheek. "No matter what happens or what you're going through, you can always come to me... I will always be here to help you... I love you, We'll do this together. Because even if it's the end of days... I won't give up on you."