a song of ice and fire // jakehoon

agt en twintig ;

[ trigger warning: bullying, overdosing ]

•

It was like deja vu — the two soulmates sat on Jake's bed at opposite ends for another emotional talk. This time, Jake held the pillow while Sunghoon listened tentatively. The slightly older male didn't want to open up that soon, but he had to open up eventually — it was unavoidable.

"I'm sorry, Sunghoon," Jake muttered, "for not telling you sooner. I didn't know how to tell you. I mean… I wasn't particularly suffering when we met — I was actually recovering. Damage to the liver is easy to repair, unless it's damage to the tissue itself due to cirrhosis. I'm doing just fine, don't worry. I've been keeping up a healthy lifestyle and I haven't suffered at all, actually. But… precautions are necessary, although scary."

Sunghoon nodded to himself. "What… what caused the liver failure?"

Jake smiled softly, although painfully. "I'm broken too, Sunghoon." He looked up at his soulmate, his smile heavy with emotion as his eyes teared up. "Life sucked for me too. I hated it all. I wanted nothing more than to just end my life while I was still in Australia. It really wasn't the greatest at all. When I was… just turning seventeen last year, I think, I overdosed on 27 paracetamol pills and I was hospitalised 19 hours later. I was put in the ICU ward as I experienced liver failure. That's the 'accident' the doctor was speaking about."

Sunghoon's eyes widened. "Jake…"

"I didn't want to hurt you with this. I wanted to leave it in the past and only experience happiness with you," Jake said desperately. "A lot of things went wrong that day, and I developed hepatic encephalopathy, but a therapist visted me every day, and Hyuna stayed by my side, so I was able to overcome it quickly. I'm doing much better now, and my acute liver failure is recovering well, I promise. It's not chronic, don't worry."

Sunghoon had tears in his eyes. "Who caused you to hurt yourself? Who made it that bad that you overdosed?"

"I was just… getting bullied, I guess," Jake muttered. "When you get bullied when you're younger, you hide it and cry — that's pretty much all you can do, really. But when you get older, you find out ways to ease the pain, or divert it completely. I wanted to just get hospitalised and recover, but I took too many pills, and ended up damaging my liver."

"Jake…" Sunghoon stood up, walking around the bed to stand behind Jake and hug him, resting his head on Jake's shoulder. Some seconds passed, and Sunghoon finally released a sob. "It's so tiring… it's so tiring when it's hurting, isn't it?"

Jake nodded silently, his eyes becoming watery as well. "Y-yeah, it is…"

"Sometimes, wanting to end it all seems like an enticing option," Sunghoon muttered. "Trust me, I was there. I'm probably still there. B-but we have each other. We have each other as emotional support. We can love each other in such a way that no one will ever be able to pull us apart — never ever. We'll stay together. We'll definitely grow old together. W-we can start a family together one day, and we'll live happily together, I swear."

Jake smiled, nodding again. "Definitely. Sunghoon, look… I won't die. It's just a check-up. You can come with so that the doctor can see that I'm happier now, and there's no chance of another overdose."

Sunghoon was quiet. He couldn't believe that Jake, his warmth and happiness, was broken as well. To think that his love tried to overdose and ended up damaging a vital organ. But he trusted Jake in the sense of him recovering — he trusted that their love wouldn't be harmed. Their hearts communicated in earnest, speaking words of honesty and love as they shared body heat. There was nothing to hide, as they were completely honest from that point on.

"You won't leave me, right?"

"I'll never leave you, Sunghoon."

The brunette male took Sunghoon's hand in his own, running his thumb over his skin gently. Their trust built up ever so slowly as time progressed. Their love was like no other, and they were 100% sure the universe made a good decision. Their intimacy was gentle, sweet, and everlasting. Even their hearts were beating simultaneously.

Jake loved his soulmate, and he was glad to know that Sunghoon loved him as well.

•

Sunoo closed the gate behind him, stuffing his hands into his padded jacket's pockets as he trudged down the path. He wasn't fond of running errands, but it was a while since he had been to the farm on his own accord. He usually went with his sibling or mother, but it was unusual to go alone. He spotted Jay with one of the horses, guiding it down the path.

"Jay hyung!" Sunoo exclaimed, waving excitedly. Jay smiled and waved as well as they neared one another. "Where are you off to? Is Uncle inside?"

"I'm just going to take Peanut on a walk," Jay replied, gesturing to the horse. "Grandpa is out to the city to buy seeds for some house plants, but he'll be back within the hour. Is there something you need?"

"Oh, just some vegetables," Sunoo said, "but it seems that you're going off. Should I come back later?"

"Why? Riki is inside, he'll assist you."

Sunoo widened his eyes — this would be the first time he ever sees Riki. He bit his lips together and nodded, bowing politely to Jay before the older turned on his way out the fence. Sunoo's heart was beating erratically in his chest for some reason — he was nervous to meet Nishimura Riki for the first time. He had lived here all his life, yet he had never met the mysterious Japanese boy — at that point, he doubted anyone did.

Sunoo eventually reached the farmhouse after a bit and knocked on the door, waiting for a response. He was nervous, and couldn't relax for the life of him. He didn't know why he was so nervous. The door slowly opened, and a brunette male peeked out.

"Hello, can I help y—"

And at that moment, they both knew.

[ double update because the previous update was actually kinda late lol, I hope you enjoyed it! ]

[ — ERICVERSE ]