BALANCE | A Star Wars story

I

I fight the shutting of my eyes with all my strength, I can't let sleep take me. My stubborn mind refuses to succumb to the devil that haunts me.

The blue streaks of hyperspace swirl together creating a peaceful atmosphere, subconsciously my eyes close and the galaxy fades to black as my body gives into exhaustion despite my minds demands to stay awake.

It starts like every other dream, the temple basked in sunlight, happiness bouncing off its walls infecting everyone within the area with the kind of happiness that radiates in your bones, that fills your chest with laughter and makes your mind yearn to feel like this forever. Younglings sit upon the soft emerald grass laughing as two boys begin to spar off jokingly, contentedness settles in my bones as the feeling of home latches itself onto every nerve in my body.

Nothing good lasts forever, barely lasts at all, before the feeling of dread plants itself in your chest stretching its claws throughout your body chasing away any remaining feelings of love.

The laugher that once echoed wonderfully from the younglings now turns sinister as crimson seeps in from the edges of my vision blocking out the place I am proud to call my home. I look around, the all too familiar feeling of fear taking a hold of my heart. A wall of mahogany red stands in front of me draining the light from around me, tugging away the light from within my heart. I strain my neck desperately trying to look away, to find the light again, but thousands of invisible hands hold me in place, forcing me to face the wall, to face the darkness.

The laugh cackles in my ear, taunting me as my grip loosens on my sanity. My head screams in pain and every fibre in my body strains to be free of this curse. My chest feels as though it's ripping apart, the dark claws of hate embedding themselves in the dwindling light of love. The malicious laugh circles around my head, penetrating my brain. Hatred pulls at my heartstrings, infecting my lungs and eating away at my brain. Turning me into a mindless monster overcome with a passion to destroy the ominous cackle invading my mind.

"Erin!" A familiar voice calls, the voice alone makes a small spark of light ignite in my heart. "Erin!" It comes again more desperate this time, adding fuel to fire burning away hate's hands and a rush of light swarms me. "ERIN!" The red wall shatters like it's made of glass, making me jump up out of the chair I'd been sleeping in. It takes a moment for my vision to fully clear but when it does I place a trembling hand over my heart as if that will stead my rapid breathing and my thumping heart beat.

In front of me a dark blue Twi'lek stands looking at me, his eyebrows knotted together and worry painted over his expression. I sigh, caught.

     "You still have nightmares?" My Master asks confusion laced into his words.

     "Every so often," I mumble my eyes suddenly very interested in the cracks of the floor boards.

     "You need to be mediating more."

     "I know, I will." A lie. I hate mediation, I fear that I'll lose myself again and those dreams will start to haunt me during the day as well. However fear is not something a Jedi should feel. Guilt knaws away at me because I know I've disappointed my Master and the Jedi.

     "Erin..." my Masters voice trails of as the familiar beep comes, alerting us to the fact that we have arrived at Saleucami. "We will talk about this later," he promises me. "Get ready whilst I land the ship in Taleucema"

     "Where? I thought this was Saleucami" I ask confused, my knowledge of the many planets is still quite rusty.

     "It is, the capital of Saleucami is Taleucema where we are visiting." He explains, voice going soft with a kind of pity I hate.

     "Oh," heat rushes to my cheeks.

     "Yeah, I only really remember about Taleucema because it's a lot like Coruscant whereas the rest of the planet is pretty much the opposite."

     "Really?" There's so much of the galaxy for me to explore or re-explore in some cases.

     "Yes, now go get ready." He all but commands, a smile gracing his usually stoic face.

     "Yes Master," I walk out of the crowded bridge and into the narrow hallway, I lean back against the cool wall and take a moment to centre myself again. I can see fragments of my reflection in the shiny metal opposite me. My charcoal black hair is messed up on one side from where I was sleeping, I run my nimble fingers through the mess attempting to erase the knots that have gathered. My padawan braid hangs loosely over my right shoulder so I tuck it behind my ear and gather my hair into a messy ponytail to clear it from my face.

     My usually forest green eyes are dotted with the red freckles that often appear after a nightmare, they'll be gone in a moment though. I fiddle with the burgundy scarf on my neck and adjust my chocolatey brown gloves that reach all the way to my biceps.

Once I've checked that my lightsaber is safely hanging from the belt around my hip, I grab my cloak and tie it around my shoulders pulling it over my lean body.

I feel the ship jolt beneath me indicating we have landed. My Master appears in the hallway, a cloak of his own thrown around his body.

"Come on," he says walking past me and round to where the hatch is now opening revealing a ramp being lowered onto the concrete below. Chee Nilim has been my Master for four years now, well more than that I think but I can't remember. No amount of mediation will bring back the memories lost that day, they tell me that there's nothing I can do to restore the 16 years of my life that was wiped away in a deadly explosion. I shake away my frustration throwing it into the force and follow my Master down the metal ramp, boots thudding against the metal.

At the bottom of the ramp I see several guards surrounding a women who is dressed in a long purple dress that is matched with a pearl necklace, I suddenly feel under-dressed in my Jedi robes. I presume the woman is Queen Chora of Saleucami who we are meeting today for gods know what reason.

"Remind me Master, why are we here?" I whisper as we walk towards them.

"Because the Jedi need some supplies for the war that can only be found here, we have come to negotiate." Right of course, the war against the Sith that has raged for a millennium but is beginning to become increasingly violent. Many other padawans have got to go on exciting missions on the front line of the war but for some reason Master Nilim and I have been on negotiation duty. This is basically where we go from planet to planet trying to get that planet to give whatever the Jedi need to them, this is mostly successful as the Jedi pretty much rule over the galaxy and no one wants to see the Sith in charge. "Focus padawan."

"Yes Master," I grumble all to use to being told off for not focussing, it's not exactly my strong suit. We approach the Pantoran guards who move a little to the side so that Queen Chora can come forward.

"Your Highness," Master Nilim bows and I hastily copy his movements. "I am Master Chee Nilim of the Jedi Order and this is my padawan, Erin Anders." I righten myself and send the queen a small smile.

     "Welcome Jedi, I believe we have certain matters to discuss." She says in a soft voice.

    "We do," Master Nilim confirms.

     "Follow me we shall discuss these matters in the palace," so we follow Queen Chora into the heart of Taleucama.

-Authors Note-
Well here's the first chapter.
What do we think so far?