BALANCE | A Star Wars story

XXXV

I dart forward, a gasp escaping my throat as I stumble back into the wall. My eyes skitter around frantically as I gather my senses. I breath heavily, my mind is reeling as I process everything I have just seen. Those memories that the council hid in the deepest parts of my brain so that I'd never uncover who they truly are.

        My eyes finally land on my father, he wears a smirk that says 'I told you so' and I shake my head desperately, unwilling to believe what I have just seen.

         "No... no those aren't real... you put them there."

         "Stop with the denial and just get to acceptance Erinyes," he rolls his eyes and then with a wave of his hand the cage creaks open. "I am your father Erinyes. I know you, you have to belong somewhere. I'm going to go now and you can either join us or you can hurry back to your Jedi." He begins to walk away before he stops and speaks again, "I trust you'll make the right choice." And with that he disappears up the stairs and I slide down to the floor staring at the open cage.

I gather the force around me like a thick blanket, needing the support it brings to me. The force hums dangerously around me, it knows the path I will take and it's warning me against it. Sighing I lean my head against the wall, the cool brick providing comfort to my growing headache. I know I should leave and start this new yet familiar path but I can't bring myself to leave just yet.

           My thoughts wander to Erlend Hutt. I wonder if he's okay, I wonder if him and Reeata have reconciled. That thought hurts more then it should but if that's the case then I'm happy for him. Hopefully they have run off into the sunset together, escaped everything that was weighing him (and probably her) down. I'll probably never see him again, but I am truly thankful he helped me. If I'd never gone to Iokath, I'd never of uncovered the truth and would still be a living a lie. It hits me with a dull realisation that I miss him, I miss his ship and I miss our journey through space. It was the first time I ever felt free. I wish I'd been nicer to him, but that can't be helped now.

         I slowly rise to my feet, I gather the force around me like a shield and also tighten my mental shields. I can't have my parents examining my mind, not now that my mission has finally become clear. Destroy the Jedi. Destroy the Sith. Create something entirely new.

          That seems like an impossible task but I will succeed. I will not let others be forced to choose a side, everyone should be able to use both the light and dark to help those in need. It may be too late for me, the darkness is ingrained too deep in my soul but I might still be able to save the other force- wielders in the galaxy.

         I was named after the three Furies from some long forgotten mythology and I'm about to bring Chaos to the galaxy.

○ ○ ○

Purposely I stride along a long corridor and out the back door. I can sense my mother and father are in the same dining room as before but I take a slightly longer route via the front gates in order to 'bump' into someone.

I can feel them faintly in the force and as I turn a corner I come face to face with him. The second he sees me his caramel eyes narrow and anger begins to resonate off of him. The guard from the bar, the one who hesitated, my old best friend who I left behind.

          "Mazal."

          "Erinyes, you're quite brave to seek me out." He says his tone stone cold and I don't need to use the force to tell all he wants to do is put a bullet through my heart.

           "I came to apologise," I begin sincerely but he cuts me off.

"I'm sure you did," he laughs darkly, contrasting with the light personality I knew.

"I never meant to leave you behind, it was stupid and I should've come back sooner. I shouldn't of put my needs before yours and I shouldn't of left you here to suffer." I look into his dark red eyes, they used to be my light in the endless darkness, they used to be calm and caring as they cleaned my wounds after my trails. Now I can't see anything, just pure hatred. "No amount of apologies can ever make up for what I did, many nothing ever will but I want to try."

"Every night as a kid I would sneak out of the guard training facilities to come and see you, we would laugh and talk and just be together. Every single night, I risked my position to come to you. Not once did you come to me." He breaths in deeply, this is obviously something he has wanted to get off his chest for a while now. "We dreamt of running away from this place, together. We dreamt of being free from the torture, together. We dreamt of seeing something other than hellish red and devilish black all the time, we dreamt of seeing bright blue skies and being about the explore the galaxy. Together."

"I know and—"

"No!" He shouts, causing me to jump back in shock. "You don't know, Erinyes! I was there for you after every trail, after every hardship and you let me behind the second you could find it within yourself to leave. I had a ship ready for ages but withheld from leaving because I knew you weren't ready and then you second you were you just took off. With out me."

A tear slides down my cheek, regret and remorse flooding the force around me. I wish I could travel back in time, take Mazal and just leave, we'd go somewhere with blue skies and green grass. We'd never go to Coruscant, we'd live the life we dreamt off all those years ago. Silently I try and will my feelings over to him but of course, he's not a force-wielder and is too angry to care.

I reach out my arm and grasp his hand, he is too stunned to move it.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper. "I'm going to make all of this right. I'll destroy them. I promise." Then I run off, back in the direction of the manor, finally ready to destroy the Jedi and the Sith.