BALANCE | A Star Wars story

IX

    I don't know how long passes until I decide I really should get up.

     I've been staring at the black and white checkered board for who knows how long and my legs are starting to lose feeling. I force myself to stand with a tiny grunt, I pace back and forth trying to decide whether or not I should apologise to the Hutt.

     He's a Hutt he doesn't deserve an apology besides he was the one out of line. A part of my brain tells me. You should apologise you were the one out of line and definitely broke some part of the Code so he deserves an apology. The other, better, part of my brain tells me.

The first line of the Jedi Code pops into my brain, 'there is no emotion, there is peace.' A weight lands on my chest, I showed emotion and broke the peace. I was a bad Jedi and for that I should apologise, not only to the Hutt but to the council as well. They don't show peace, they go from planet to planet destroying lives for their stupid war— no I cannot follow that train of thought. The Jedi are good and everything they do is for the well-being of the galaxy. Master Nilim's words.

The sound of footsteps halts my pacing and I turn to see the Hutt himself leaning against the doorway a smirk plastered onto his face. The sight of him twists my lips into a scowl and everything I was taught about being calm gets pushed to the back of my brain.

"What do you want?" I cross my arms protectively over my chest.

"Just came to tell you that we'll be arriving at Anthan Prime in about half an hour."

"Okay," I shrug desperate to ask what planet Anthan Prime is but restraining, my need for him to be out of the room greater than my curiosity.

"Okay," he copies and walks away leaving me in peace once more. I slide back down onto a nearby seat and sigh. Where is Anthan Prime? I could be in Wild Space for all I know. Ages from Coruscant. What could I do to get home faster? This is taking too long.

Then suddenly it hits me, I mentally slap myself for not realising it before. Comms. There's gotta be a HoloNet transmitter or a subspace transceiver on this damned ship somewhere. I mentally slap myself for being so kriffing stupid and walk the ship peering into every room until I come across a tiny room. The walls are covered in thousands of buttons and screens that make no sense to me whatsoever.

    In the four years of my life that I remember, I've never been good at engineering or flying and anything to do with it as it leaves me extremely confused. Master Nilim would always take care of the comms and the technological parts of being a Jedi. I do however, recognise the small Holoprojector stationed in the centre of the tiny room.

     Excited, I cross over to it and begin to type in the command to show me the Jedi Council Chambers, I know the command off by heart thanks to Master Nilim as it was one of the first things he ever taught me in case I ended up in a situation like this one. Hope begins to ignite in my chest, the Jedi can come and find me, they'll take me home.

     Home.

     Will it still feel like home now that Master Nilim has gone? Will that familiar spark of pride still come whenever I glimpse upon the building?

     So much has changed in the last few days, much more than my brain can fully comprehend. I cannot go back to my way of life without Master Nilim but I have to eventually and why postpone the inevitable?

     I take a deep breath and hit the enter key anxiously awaiting the familiar blue outline of Master Moza of some other member of the council.

Nothing.

Then the familiar noise of static fills the air and is followed only seconds later by a long drawn out beep. My eyebrows furrow and I watch the Holoprojector in the quickly dwindling hope that it will show me a familiar face.

Instead a light chuckle sounds from behind me and I swivel my hands instinctively reaching for my saber. The Hutt stands there casually leant on the doorframe with his arms crossed, the ever growing familiar smirk stretches across his skin and he shakes his head slightly.

     "You didn't think I wouldn't block all comns?" Amusement laces his words and it makes me sick, "I'm surprised it took you this long to even think of contacting your precious Jedi order."

     "You blocked the comms?" I almost shout, completely ignoring that last part.

     "Yep, can't have you trying to escape our deal."

     "I'll help you, but you gotta let me tell the council that I'm actually alive and about—" I stop short and give my head a small shake. "You just gotta let me talk to them then I'll help you."

     "Nope," he says. "Not happening."

     "Why not?" I ask trying to keep the rising anger out of my voice.

     "You'll just ask them to come pick you up and unfortunately for you I have to complete this job, it's not my fault you were desperate and naïve enough to help me."

     "I am not naïve!" I take a deep breath using the force to slow my heart rate and calm my breathing back to a steady pace. "One minute?"

     "Not happening sweetheart."

     "Are you seriously going to keep calling me that?" The anger and annoyance is bubbling back to the surface now and I cannot keep it under control. Ever since I met this man I have been the exact opposite of what a Jedi is suppose to be. This Hutt is causing all the emotions Master Nilim and I worked so hard to erase come flooding back and I hate him for it.

     "Go on wave your glow stick around, run me to the ground with it for all I care! You won't be able to fly the ship, not without me."

     "And what gives you that impression?" I cock my head to the side slightly.

      "The fact that I safety locked it, the Libertas will only fly under my voice control and I know the Jedi wouldn't welcome you home with your hands stained with blood." Can he even do that? I don't know but I'm not about to take that risk.

     "You've imprisoned me!" I shout, anger clouding my vision.

     "What you gonna do sweetheart? Here's a little life lesson for you; don't trust anyone, not strangers, not enemies and especially not friends." And with that he stalks out of the room humming to himself, I can sense the happiness at my downfall radiating of him and it makes me sick.

      I hate him.

      A Jedi isn't suppose to hate but the last few days I've been the furthest thing from a perfect Jedi. He's right, how can I go home with my hands stained not necessarily in blood but in reawakening of these emotions I have been trained to forget?

-Authors Note-
Okay this is horrible.
I didn't know what to write and it was taking forever so I ended up with this.
It'll get better though, the next few chapters should be good. Hopefully.