BALANCE | A Star Wars story

XLI

      I rush through the long and winding corridors of Iokath. I pull my dark hair back into a ponytail as I run, strands fly everywhere but I don't have the time for neatness. Today's the day.

I shove past several people who are also running down the corridors, Iokath is buzzing with a nervous energy as the people on it make final preparations for war. Finally I reach the training room where my squad is already there, Awolia looks at me and smirks like she knows something I don't.

"Right then, come on squad you all know what to do. The galaxy is relying on you." I say out of breath, we're late. I turn and march my squad out of the training room to where we will board The Vengence, the main cruiser that my parents will be on.

I take the lead, my squad trailing behind me talking in hushed whispers. Awolia strides up to me smirks knowingly.

"What?" I ask annoyed, we're already late and she doesn't seem very bothered.

"Where were you last night?"

"I don't see how that's your business," I say curtly. I don't mean to be rude but I'm very stressed and she is entering dangerous territory.

"Oh come on Erin, you guys are cute together."

"We're not together."

"But you like him," she states matter of factly.

"Look, this isn't important right now we have bigger things to do." We approach a stair case and begin to ascend.

"We're marching into war Erin, you know as well as I do that we won't come out of it without any casualties. You have to tell him before it's too late."

"And why exactly do you care so much?"

"I was too cowardly to tell the person I loved that I loved him and he died before I could work up the courage." Guilt and remorse flood the force around us, so powerful that every force user on Iokath could feel it.

"Awolia, I'm so sorry."

"I don't want the same to happen to you, you're my friend and I don't want you to carry the same burdens I do." I reach out in the force and send a wave of reassurance in her direction.

           "I understand, I just have bigger things to worry about at this moment."

            "I know," she looks down guilty. "I'm sorry I brought it up, it was unfair of me to put that pressure on you today. And we are all going to be fine."

             "You know as well as I that that's a lie but I appreciate the effort." I smile slightly, as we come to a landing I stop and the rest of the group do as well. "Besides you've helped me admit something I doubt I ever would otherwise."

            "Then some good has come from it." She smiles before frowning, "why have we stopped?"

            "Awolia I want you to take the squad up to the cruiser, I have something I need to do but I'll meet you there." I say moving towards the door on the landing.

           "But—" she protests.

          "I'll meet you at the cruiser, I promise!" I call as I push through the doors and back into the familiar corridors of Iokath.

○ ○ ○

           I shove past the people in my way. I mean we have places to be and they are sauntering around Iokath like they have all the time in the world. Over the past fortnight the apprentice half of Iokath has become extremely familiar to me and I know it like the back of my hand. It troubles me that I don't know about the Church of the Sith side but any time I tried I was met with big thick metal doors with guards stationed outside 24/7.

Anyway, I jog down the corridors until I come to the canteen where several guards are sat having what's probably going to be their last meal here. I reach out in the force and locate Mazal, I find him in a corner by himself and I push through the crowds of red skinned Sith to get to him. Everyone here will be on cruiser two, The Eclipse, which is docked two minutes away from this canteen so most will be here enjoying themselves until the last moment. I finally reach Mazal and join him leaning against the wall.

"What are you doing here?" He whispers as though anyone could hear us over the cacophony of noises in the room.

"I came to see you before we left, I feel as though I've barely seen you."

"We meet up every morning."

"I know but that's all talk about the war and the plan."

"Well what else do you want to talk about?" He asks curiously.

"I don't know." He laughs loudly and the sound brings a smile to my face, it reminds me of those long nights we spent in my room when we were younger. "I guess it's just that everything's about to change and I wanted to spend some time with my best friend before it does."

"What's really the matter Erinyes?" He says a little coolly, the use of my full name makes me flinch.

             "You've been distant the past fortnight, now I understand if you haven't forgiven me for leaving but don't pretend everything's fine if it's not cause I don't know what's happen now and I don't want something to happen with us on bad terms." I huff out in one breath.

             "I've just been busy with the war preparations," he says shortly and as someone who has known him since we were very young I know when he is lying.

            "Please don't lie to me Maz," I plead and he takes a deep breath weighing up his options.

            "Ever since you came back its been... different. You've been different."

             "How do you mean?" I ask curious.

             "You've changed and I... I haven't, I'm still the same Mazal that I was four years ago but you... you've changed." He struggles over his words and confusion mixed with hurt settles deep within me. "It's like you've moved forward whilst I've stayed in one place and the distance between keeps on getting further."

             "What?" My voice barely a ghost of a whisper.

             "Erin I love you, as a friend and once upon a time something more. But now this..." he gestures between us, "this has changed and we just don't... work anymore. That's what happens you know, people grow apart and that's okay."

              "That doesn't make it hurt any less." I whisper tears threatening to spill. Not here. Not in this crowded room. He smiles sadly, I can see my hurt reflected back in his eyes.

              "Yet it must happen for people to grow individually." He leans down and places a small kiss in my hair.

              "Besides it isn't me you need anymore." He goes to leave before stopping short, "good luck out there today, I'll continue as planned and I do hope to have a place in your new order." He smiles back at me.

               "Always."