BALANCE | A Star Wars story

XVII

     I've finally found out why the Hutt needed a Jedi on this mission.

     It's a question that has been nagging at the back of my mind for a while now but I've never thought on it much as I was sure my purpose here would be revealed shortly. I was right.

     I was having a nightmare, the usual, but before I could peer past the wall I was woken by the Hutt yelling at me through the door.

     "Get up lazy arse! I need your help with something." I am too tired to even comment on the fact that he said he needed my help, but if I remember when I'm more awake I'll be sure to tease him about it.

     We now stand in the cockpit looking out at empty space, nothing but the faint twinkle of stars in the distance.

     "What?" I say bluntly, we're stood in silence and I'm confused as to why he's woken me up, I needed to sleep and I'm desperate to find out what lies behind the wall that seems to be crumbling more and more every time I sleep.

     "Hmm?" He says distractedly.

     "What are we doing?" My tone has a sharp edge of annoyance, the bags under my eyes aren't getting any better therefore I need sleep.

     "You're finding Iokath for me." Now I'm convinced I'm still sleeping and my dreams have turned to that of the Hutt on drugs.

     "I— what?" I look at him with utter confusion written on my face.

     "You—" he looks at me and sees that I obviously have no idea what he's on about. He sighs, "okay well Iokath can only be accessed by a force user, which you are, it's somewhere here but disguised in a camouflage that only allows a force user to see it."

     "Well I can't see it." I shrug and look out the window again, nothing.

     "You aren't trying, you've got to focus."

     "Sorry Master Nilim," I grumble angrily not realising what I've just said.

      "What?" Now it's the Hutts turn to look confused.

      "I— sorry that's just something my Master used to say a lot." My anger being replaced by a wave of sadness that I try my best to release into the force.

      "Nilim... that's the name you used when we first met."

      "Yeah, it was the first name I thought of, you know stranger danger." I smile weakly.

     "What we're you doing out there without your Master?" He asks like it just dawned on him that I'm a padawan without my Master. Was the braid that dangles over my right shoulder not obvious enough? "I heard that Masters and padawans are always together until the padawan becomes a Knight."

      "Well yeah pretty much, I was with him, we were on a diplomatic mission on Saleucami when our ship got blown to pieces." I let out a small laugh, I knew if I didn't I would burst into tears and I wouldn't let that happen. "He didn't make it and I ended up on Alaspin where I met you."

"I'm sorry." He says, his eyes filled with something I can't quite distinguish.

"Don't be, it's not like you killed him so what're you sorry for?" I smile and shake my shoulders as if to shake of the grief that has curled it's way into my heart. "So missing planet eh?" And just like that the mood is back to one I know, one I'm comfortable in.

"Yeah..." he says sadly and straightens his back as he clears his throat. "It should be here, I guess you just have to try and I don't know call to it? Does that sound stupid?"

"Oh absolutely, but yeah I got it." I close my eyes and focus, calling out in the force trying to find this missing planet.

I search my surroundings and let myself travel through the force, reaching out for a familiar feeling. Suddenly I feel as though I'm being pulled, being dragged along through space like the north pole of a magnet to meet the south.

The feeling stops and for a second there's nothing but the ringing in my ears before a tidal wave of emotions slam into me and the force bursts to life dancing around me in joy and if it's finally found a place to be itself without restrictions.

The wave flows through me making me feel so many emotions some of which I didn't know anyone could feel.

I hear the joyous laughs of happiness, feel the steady stream of sadness, feel the flames of anger and see the fireworks of hope. I see the anchor of regret sinking next to the box of grief that shakes and seems to wail in despair. I feel the rushing river of pride and the wings of fear as it takes flight. So many emotions crowd me at once, none of these are allowed in a Jedi but I find myself rejoicing in them letting them wash over me, igniting my bones with the emotion the council have scrubbed at tirelessly to erase.

All these pass through me in a painful rush and leave behind a gentle trickle of love that comes as the backwash to the wave. Seeping into me in a calm and gentle manor allowing me to feel it for the first time, feel as love enters my body infecting my blood. It's a drug that I'll never be able to get enough of.

Once the water has receded fully my eyes are thrown open and I'm clutching the back of the chair, gasping for breath.

The first thing I'm aware of is a pair of unfamiliar hands on my back, then I feel the Hutt's face leaning down to examine mine.

"Are you okay? What happened?" He asks worry lacing his tone. I catch my breath and stand up straight making his hands fall back to his sides, immediately I miss the warm that accompanied them. But I don't let that bother me, I feel lighter than ever before, my heart pounding and all those emotions and more rushing through my veins to every part of me.

"Perfect," I say and look out the window again. A planet looms ahead of us, black with what seems to be a channel cut out all the way around the middle. It's made completely from dark metals so dark that it almost blends with the background. I point out the window and hear the Hutt gasp.

"There's your missing planet."