Not What it Seems | BTS x Reader | Reverse Harem

Chapter 42 - Too Little Too Late

I relayed that I hadn't seen him today. And truth be told, I haven't had a proper conversation with him since he.. well.. went down on me and told me he loved me. I'm sure he had said it in the moment though. After all I had just told him about BigHit wanting me to play Jungkook's girlfriend.

"That's unfortunate, I need to speak with Hobi about the new choreography and concept. You see with this-"

"So sorry to interrupt director nim" the line came from a dimple laden smile. "But may I have a moment with Y/N?"

As always, Namjoon commanded the attention in any conversations. Even ones he interrupts or is barely part of.

"Oh- of course! I've got to get going anyways!" The ahjushi was cordial, yet I could sense the awkwardness in his voice.

Although I was officially Jungkook's girlfriend, word of my public rendezvous with Namjoon spread like wildfire. People were polite with me, but I knew they were constantly guessing at my relationship with BTS members.

With this particular member, however, I had decided to have none. It was easier that way.

"Is that from Jungkook?" The question was perfectly normal, yet I could tell from his furrowed brows and the underlying tone that Namjoon wasn't happy.

"I don't owe you an explanation."

"Can we just talk?" he begged, desperation in his voice.

"No." I spat walking away. Namjoon was wearing an oversized hoodie with his favourite beanie. A mundane attire, yet so soft and nostalgic. It made me want to hug him tight. But my resolve was stronger for once.

"You can't pretend like nothing ever happened. Like it all doesn't matter."

"That's funny, because not too long ago, you were doing just that." It was hilarious how he didn't see the irony.

"Y/N listen.."

"No you listen. I wouldn't be in this mess if you didn't just decide you wanted me again in front of 50 people. You didn't have to kiss me.."

"You know you kissed me back."

He was right. And there was nothing I could say to deny that. I had yearned for his kiss ever since we were intimate. Ever since we were "cuddle buddies", or whatever the hell it is we were. The kiss was far from picture perfect, as it caused a disturbing ripple effect. That I had to bear the brunt.

"I meant what I said. I want you to be my girlfriend. I want more, I need more.. I need you."

"It's a little too late Namjoon." I said matter of factly. "The funny thing, before all the bullshit, all I wanted was to hear you say that. But it's too late. Regardless of everything else, I'm supposed to be Jungkook's girlfriend."

"Y/N, we'll work it out.. together. Please." He was one line short of going on his knees. I knew he meant everything. Or at least he thinks he does. But Namjoon has always thought about himself.

I'm not about to just drop everything for a guy that doesn't care enough to think things through.

"No! Namjoon I didn't ask for the spotlight okay?! And even if I wasn't publicly dating Jungkook, I'm Hoseok's girlfriend first and foremost. Have you ever thought about what it means to publicly date an idol?"

His eyes darted everywhere for answers, but he clearly couldn't find them.

"The death threats I may get? The danger to my actual safety? Tell me why I shouldn't just quit."

Leaving BigHit had crossed my mind, but I had grown to care about these boys. Namjoon included. Whether or not I cared to admit this out loud. I couldn't just pretend like that didn't matter.

"Look I don't have time for this. It's Friday and you have a date tonight." Referencing the note that Jihye slipped, I knew Namjoon was going to see her outside his apartment. No amount of blocking was going to stop him from feeling guilty. You don't just delete all that history you have with someone overnight. "I'm taking the rest of the day off."

Storming off, I texted my manager to say I needed to take a personal day I had saved up. I sent another text before swiftly grabbing my bag and leaving the building.

Are you free?

I needed to take my mind off everything and I honestly couldn't care less how I was going to do that. As long as it worked.

Just as I turned the corner, my phone chimed at an incoming text.

What did u have in mind?

Surprised at the quick reply, I followed suit and sent him two emojis:

🌿🚬

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Thank you all as always for patiently waiting! Hope you enjoy the #angst as always. How have you all been?

Hopefully the next chapter doesn't take as long!