The Love I Leave Behind

The Box

Arriving home, I get out of the car and head towards to my room, but I had a thought and turn to face Seyfi. 

"Sefyi what happened to my apartment?" 

"Umm..." Sefyi looked back and forth between my mother and I.

"What? What is it?" I ask them. My mother nods to Sefyi.

" Well Serkan bay.... Eda asked us to keep everything the same for when you came back......." Sefyi looks down and swipes a tear. I felt another pang in my heart. I clear my throat. 

" Okay what else is there, your not telling me something." I look at the both of them. 

"Serkan dear, Eda stayed at your apartment with Sirius for two weeks when you disappeared. We couldn't get her out of the apartment unless it was to walk Sirius, she barely even ate. We were lucky to even get her to drink some water." My mom said whiling wiping away the tears in her eyes. 

I felt the tears in my eyes well up again. I caused my strong fairy girl to wither away inside  and suffer. I take a breathe and continue to walk towards when I hear a bark that could only be Sirius. I see him running towards me, I crouch down to pet him. 

"Sirus my son. What are you doing here? I thought you would be with Ed-" Then I realized that Eda had left him with me since she had left me....

"Eda asked me to pick him up last night. I thought it was odd seeing as Sirius was very irritable without Eda by his side these past two months. He would even go with her to work sometimes."

I let out a chuckle because never once have I let Sirius go to work with me for the fear that he would bark at the employees, but it seems that Eda has the power to change everything. The thought brings me down even more. I give Sirius one last rub before I turn back to anne and Sefyi. Processing what he had just said.

"Wait Sefyi when did you last see Eda?" 

"Last night after the party she asked that I stop by and pick up Sirius. She even said goodbye, but I didn't really think she would leave like this. Before I could tell anyone we were all called to Artlife." He said why rubbing his hands together, clearly uncomfortable. 

"Alright, let me know when everyone get here. I am going to take a shower and be right out." I turn and walk towards my part of the house. 

"Wait Serkan bay." I look back at Sefyi and raise an eyebrow."

"The box Eda left...it's on the table in your room."

I forgot about the box..I thank Sefyi shower forgotten I go to find the box. I find the box right where Sefyi said it would be. I walk towards the box already knowing what is inside the box, still I lift the lid and see all of our memories. I can't believe she kept the guitar pick all this time..The star certificate..she left it behind. I blink back the tears in my eyes to look the rest of the box. All of our pictures, the jacket I let her wear during one of our walks. I lift it up to my nose and breathe in  and it smells like Eda. I see the blue dress that I had bought her underneath the jacket. I see a square velvet box and I know that it is the charm bracelet that I gave her on New Years.

 I see the glass jar of the dried flower from all those months ago, she must have bought a new jar after her grandmother broke it. I see something red in the corner of the box, I go to grab it and see that it's the pen that I had gifted her for getting back into University. She gave back every single thing that could have connected me to her. The pain in my heart just grows bigger and bigger with every memory that Eda seems to have thrown away. 

Is this what she felt when I said those words to her? Calling her a stranger, a nobody, I hate myself even more now. I knew one day I wouldn't deserve her, but I didn't think that I would be the one to purposely push her away. God damn Selin!! I throw the first thing that my hand reaches against the wall, and I see that it's the mood cup that she gave me when she "first moved in". Seeing that cup on the floor broken into little pieces broke the damn in my heart and I let out a scream. 

I fall down to the ground and end up grabbing the box with me and everything falls to the floor next to me. I keep screaming to let out the anger that I feel. The anger at Selin, the anger at the plane for crashing, the anger at Anne for letting us keep it a serect, and finally the anger at myself for being the biggest asshole to Eda. For taking advantage of her kind heart, for making her feel all that pain. For making her leave. And for being the Robot she always told me I was....