The Love I Leave Behind

Eyes Wide Open

I woke up to the sound of beeping..I open my eyes to the bright lights of what could only be hospital lights. The smell of bleach and the scratchiness of the hospital blanket confirms my thoughts. I try to raise my hand to rub my eyes but it's caught in someone's hand. I look down I see my mom sleeping while holding my hand. I try to pulling my hand out of her hands and she wakes up from the movement. 

"Ahh Serkan, my boy your awake. Are you feeling okay? Wait let me get a doctor." She getting up to get the doctor, but I grab her hand. 

"Anne I am fine. Give me moment please." I take a deep breathe in and rub my eyes and suddenly everything comes rushing back. The plane crash. Selin telling me all those lies..Eda..NO NO what did I do. I look back up at anne.

"Anne where is Eda?" 

"Serkan? My boy do you remember?" She asked me while grabbing my hand.

"Yes. I remember everything. But please tell me where is Eda? Is she outside? Anne where is she?!" I ask in a panicked voice. I couldn't breathe.  She couldn't have left me, she promised to always be my breathe. 

"Serkan, honey breathe. Calm down I will tell you everything." Anne tried to calm me down but I couldn't breathe, I hear the heart monitor behind me go even faster. I felt the walls closing in on me, things started to go black again. The last thing I see before I pass out is a man in a white coat running in.

The second time I wake up, I shoot right out of the bed and look around the room for anne. But the person I see isn't my mother, it's Selin. She didn't notice that I was awake she was still looking at her phone on the couch in the corner. A hate and anger that I have never felt before comes to the surface. 

"YOU HAVE TWO SECONDS TO EXPLAIN WHAT YOU ARE DOING IN THIS ROOM!!!" I say to Selin. 

She jumps up from the sound of me yelling at her. She looks scared to even look at me, and I am starting to losing whatever patience I have left inside of me. I would never strike in a women in my life but Selin is really making me reconsider that. 

"Selin if you even think for one second that you can come into this room and welcome you, you are very mistaken. My eyes are now wide opened to what you have done and you are very lucky that I am in this bed because I don't even want to think about what I might do to you."

Selin's face turns to a pale white. She shuffles on her feet and looks down. 

The sound of my yelling must have alerted the staff, because in that moment a doctor comes rushing in with my mother right behind him. She looks at me and then around the room and her eyes land on Selin.

"Selin what are you doing in here. I told you that you were not welcome or anywhere where my family is for that matter. Get out." My mother tells Selin. When Selin doesn't move." NOW Selin. Don't make me repeat myself again." 

Selin looks at me as if I would help her in anyway after what she had done to me. When I don't respond she grabs her purse and walks to the door. But a thought suddenly hits me. 

"Selin" She turns around at the sound of my voice, with a hopeful look on her face. 

With my eyes narrowed and my tone dead I say " Don't try to leave Turkey. Your not getting away with any of this. That's a promise." I look her in the eyes when I say to show that I was serious. She swallows and walks out of the door. 

The doctor and anne comes towards me. The doctor asks all the general questions after he has finished with his check up. He tells my mother that I could be discharged, but to avoid stress for the next few days. As if that could happen with everything going on around me. The nurse comes in and starts to unhook me from the cables. Once the nurse leaves it's just anne and me in the door. 

"Serkan-" 

"Anne we will talk at home, but right now I need to get dressed and some time alone." I tell her with my back turned. 

"Okay I will be waiting outside." Anne walks out of the room. 

I look down at the ground think about what has happened the past two months. I can't be believe what has happened. I rub my head and think about everything that has happened. I left Eda on our wedding. I yelled at her, I called her a stranger, I accused her of trying to take the holding, and lastly I asked Selin to marry me right in front of her. I feel the tears starting to fall from my eyes. 

I hurt of the most precious person in my life. I could lose everything but I couldn't lose her. She tried so hard to get me to remember and I yelled at her and belittled her. She even used those damn handcuffs. I chuckle at the thought, because only Eda would think of handcuffing me to her. But I sober up because I might have just lost the most important person of my life. 

I wipe away the tears and get dressed into the clothes that Sefyi seemed to have left me. I walk outside. I look at my mother.

"I already got Sefyi to finish the paperwork. We can leave now." She says.

She interlocks her arms with my arm, but I knowing what she did I couldn't hold her hand at the moment. I pull my arm away from her and look at her when we get into the elevator. 

"Anne we need to have a talk about you did." I told her while turning back to face the doors of the elevators. I see in the reflection of the door, she puts her head down and wipes a tear away. 

"Serkan believe me when I say I regret ever trusting Selin with you those two months."

"Then why didn't you tell Eda? You knew where I was. This could have been avoided if Eda came." I say and my voice cracks with the tears that threaten to fall. 

"You left me alone. Again. Right when I needed you the most."

"Serkan. I am sorry, but you do not get to blame this all on me. You told me not to tell Eda. I had to listen to you or else I would have really lost you." She said.

"Okay. Okay. Let us get home. Call everyone to meet at the house. There will be some explaining to do." 

"Okay I will tell Sefyi to get right on it."

The elevator doors open and we walk out the lobby and into the car that Sefyi was waiting in. 

"To the house Sefyi." I say.