Loving You

Let Your Eyes Do The Talking

RUE'S POV

My eyes opened and I turned to the side to stare at my alarm.

5:00

Two hours early

I groaned as I threw my pillow across the room in frustration. My sleep pattern kept getting worse day by day since a month ago, sometimes I would wake up by 1am and wouldn't be able to go back to sleep so I would just stare at my ceiling or walk around the house. I would jog but that only reminded me of him, even morning coffee reminds me of him. Hell, everything reminds me of him.

It was worse that the villa was now for sale and I still had to go over there and show clients around and it was just the hardest thing ever. I couldn't cry or yell so I would just hold it in till it was only me. I felt like I was doing pretty good but now I'm spacing out and having darker bags and I'm very sure I can't fool my friends much longer so I did the one thing I could think of.

"You want me to be your therapist?", Skylar asked astonishedly. "Just ask me a few questions so I can start sleeping better", I rolled my eyes. "But that's not how it works", he said amusedly, "Are you even sure you want to do this?".

Am I sure I want to do this?

I stared at Skylar as he stared back at me. I trust Skylar completely, always have, always will. He was there when everything fell apart and I still trust him to be here right now.

"You didn't tell me you were a genius", I smirked at him as he turned his stool towards me. He looked at me flatly, "I forgot to get that from Jace, thanks". He tried to collect the book from me but I pulled it back, "You didn't answer me". "You asked a question?",He smirked as he stood up and grabbed the book from me. I pouted as I folded my hands, "You left me to do all my studying when you're a walking genius. How dare you?!". He laughed as he dropped his guitar in it's case not minding me. "Tell me how do you do it!?", I frowned. "Fine", he said as he sat on the bed facing me. I sat excitedly as I waited for him to speak. "Close your eyes", he said. I did as he told me to. "Now imagine yourself as a genius", he continued. I started imagining myself with geek glasses and saying big words with Jess. "I'm imagining!", I said to Skylar with my eyes closed but there was no response. "Skylar, what next?", I asked as still with my eyes closed but he still didn't speak. Then I heard him moan. What the hell? I opened my eyes to see Skylar devouring the pizza I got him. "Hey!", I yelled as I hit him.

"Yeah...I'm sure", I said firmly.

"Alright then", he clapped his hands excitedly, "I've been waiting for this all my laugh", he laughed evilly causing me to laugh, "Stop!".

"Why do you think you haven't been sleeping?", he asked. "Aren't you supposed to tell me that?", I smirked. "Have you been thinking about anything in particular when you wake up?", he continued and I rose my brows, "Do you want me to say Blake?". He immediately responded, "I want you to be truthful..to yourself".

I sat and stared at him as i began to feel overwhelmed and my feelings began to engulf me as I spat angrily, "Do you want me to say that I miss him?". He replied calmly, "Yes, if you do".

I scoffed, "You just want me to say that he's the reason behind my sleepless nights and dark eyes".

"Maybe, if he is", he said bluntly.

My eyes began to tear up, "You just want me to cry my eyes out and yell through the roof that I want him here and now"

He nodded, "Yeah but only if you want to".

I chuckled as I cleaned my tears, "But the feminist in me doesn't want to cry".

"Huh", he replied with confusion.

I smiled,

We stayed there for like 5 minutes before I sniffled, "I'm such a big baby. You didn't cry and I'm here crying". He chuckled before lifting my head to wipe the tears from my face, "I'm a man. I can't cry but you see you ladies, crying is your hobby". I laughed as I pushed him away.

I stepped through my door and dropped the keys by the side table before taking off my coat. It's October but the climate is already dropping. I won't be surprised if I woke up and there's snow outside. Turning on the heater, I made my way to my room.

I sighed and sat on my bed. Turning to my front, I caught sight of my reflection on the mirror. Particularly, the silver necklace glistening on my neck. My hand reached up to hold it as I stared transfixed at the mirror.

"When did you take it off?", he whispered. "A month after our split", I whispered back. "Why didn't you throw it away? I'm sure you were pissed at me", he asked as he looked me guiltily and confusedly. Tears already started welling up in my eyes, I smiled, "Because you said you'd break up with me if I did. "But I had already broke up with you", he said turning fully to me. I shrugged, "Yeah...but I couldn't throw it away. I...I wanted to have the faith that one day, you would put it on for me again just like on New Year's Eve". "I didn't care if we weren't together anymore, just like at the hospital", I continued. Tears dropped from my eyes, "I just wanted you to put it on for me...again". He used his fingers to clean the tears dropping from my eyes then he unhooked the necklace, his eyes never leaving mine, "I promise you today, that no matter how many times you take it off...", he said as his hands rose and circled round my neck, "I'll always come back to put it back on", he said as he hooked the necklace, still looking at me, he loosened my bun and my hair fell around my shoulders. He pushed some of my hair behind my ear and smiled, "There. Beautiful".

I sighed furiously as I tried so hard to fight back the tears.

I don't want to cry

I don't want to cry

I don't

I don't

I held my head and tried to slow my breathing but the more I tried, the more I failed.

I smiled and started to head out but he held my hand, "Remember Rue, if your mouth can't speak, let your eyes do the talking".

I clung to my chest as I cried.

Cried because I regretted not telling him

Cried because I couldn't stop them

Cried because I wasn't there to say goodbye

Cried because I didn't know if he was okay or not

Cried because no matter how much I tried, I couldn't forget

"Heyyy", she smiled widely as I approached her and sat down across her. "Heyyy. What important thing did you want to talk about?", I smiled. "Welllll", she wiggles her brows causing me to laugh.

During my dark 3 months, Bri was quite the opposite. Her wedding is in a week time so she had been doing a lot of preparations and I have never seen her happier. She's practically glowing and I couldn't be more happy for her but at the same time, the human in me was jealous. Jealous that I couldn't have this life with the person I love.

"So Mike and I were planning on doing the best friend's speech and after much thought, I decided that there is no one else I would want to give the speech than you", she smiled widely.

"Really?", I gasped.

"Yup!", she smiled.

I squealed as I hugged her while everyone else stared at us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~