Take a Chance on Me

Ten

Back to the Past

Are we still hanging out tonight?

Yeah, come over around 8:00?

Sounds like a plan(:

I add a smiley face to try to lighten the mood.

Things have been weird between us, especially since he missed my birthday dinner. Things have been a bit rocky before that, but dinner sealed the deal. You could put our relationship in a box and put a huge label on it that says "DAMAGED." Anyone could see that things weren't what they used to be. What was so easy is now so difficult. Even having a simple conversation about hanging out seems so forced and calculated. What happened to us?

-

I knock on his door and wait for his smiling face to answer. 

"Hey Leah, come on in."

I walk inside and there's no one home. Usually Chase is here, but he seems to have gone out for the night.

"Wanna watch a movie?" he asks. "I have some popcorn and candy. You can pick whatever you want to watch."

Finally, things seem normal. This is the Alex I fell in love with. The guy that plans a cute date, even if it is just watching a movie at home. He goes all out with drinks, snacks, and blankets. 

"That sounds really nice," I say, putting my arms around him and feeling his warm embrace. 

He sits on the corner spot of the couch and I grab the blanket, cuddling up next to him and resting my head on his chest. He grabs the remote and scrolls through the movies before we settle on one of my favorites: He's Just Not That Into You.

-

As the credits roll I can't help but sink into Alex a little more. I've missed these nights. They are so simple but they are the exact type of night I am always looking forward to. I don't need the fancy dinners or the expensive gifts. I just want to feel that he loves me. That's it. 

"I can't believe it's already midnight. I should get to bed," I yawn as I get up from the couch and search for my keys.

"Wait. Stay just a little longer? I want to talk to you about something." He pats the seat next to him on the couch and holds my hands in his.

"What's up?" I ask nonchalantly. 

"I've been thinking about something for a few days." He lets go of my hands and breaks eye contact.

"What is it?" My heart is suddenly racing. I've never seen Alex this serious before. Not even when he's talking about his work. 

"I think we should take a break."

My stomach instantly drops. My whole body is shaking and sweating. I can't tell if I'm overheating or freezing. I clench the blanket in my arms not knowing if wrapping it around me will help or make me want to throw up.

"What? Why?" is all that manages to escape my lips. 

He looks down and doesn't respond. 

"For how long?" I add.

He scoots closer to me and tries to put his arm around me. "I think it should be indefinitely."

I can't believe this is happening right now. What did I do wrong? 

I immediately push him away. "Why?" I ask again, needing an answer from him.

"Leah, I don't know. I just don't see this working out."

I get off of the couch and on to my feet, making my way to the door.

"Leah wait. Let's talk about this," he calls behind me.

I turn to face him. "Then tell me why. Why do you want to end this? I need an answer."

He runs his hand through his hair and takes a deep breath. "Honestly, I don't know. Things have been feeling off and I just don't think we can fix it."

"But we haven't even tried. We haven't even talked about what's wrong with us," I plead, staring into his eyes, searching for answers, searching for what he's hiding from me.

But I don't find any answers. I don't know what happened between us, but we are done. Over. I look at him one more time and he just shakes his head. 

"I'm sorry," is the last thing I hear before I walk out the door.