Take a Chance on Me

Thirty-nine

I order my hot green tea and look for a table while I wait for for Alex. Being a Southern California native, the cold December air is too much for me to handle so instead of occupying one of the empty tables outside, I wait for an older man to finish his coffee so I can take his spot. 

The door chimes and I see Alex's scruffy blonde hair appear as he removes his beanie. I'm not sure if I should follow him while he orders or stand here by the window and continue to sip on my drink. I'm immediately disappointed in myself for having this battle in my head. Wait by the window versus joining him at the counter as he orders. He is my boyfriend, for the third time at that. I shouldn't be nervous to stand next to my boyfriend while he orders his coffee at the counter. As soon as I choose to meet him at the counter, he is already walking towards me, but I have confidence from my mind's dialogue and decide to cut to the the chase. 

I scan the room and notice that no one is leaving their table any time soon. Unfortunately, the older man I was waiting on is going for his second cup, so I look up to Alex. "Do you want to go on a walk and I can tell you how sorry I am for the other night and beg for your forgiveness?"

I see the smallest hint of a smile form on his lips and I feel a small fire surge through me. He wants this fight in the past just as much as I do. "Sure," his small smile begins to spread across his face, "but only if you really beg." He pulls me under the crook of his arm and we walk together down the street and towards the beach. 

After we finish our drinks and arrive at the beach a few minutes later, I explain my actions. "Alex, I am so sorry about the other night. I know how much Mr. Holland's death has affected you and I had no right to go to Chase's house without you. I should have told you and at least given you the option to come with. I am so sorry."

Alex is looking at the waves crashing onto the sand in front of us. His smile from earlier has completely disappeared and I have no idea what is going on in that head of his. That is, until he speaks. "I never wanted to be mad at you, but I was, maybe I still am, because you were able to get through to my best friend when I couldn't. I've never dealt with a situation like this and I didn't know how to talk to Chase about it. But you knew exactly what to do. And honestly, he is lucky to have you, because I still don't know what I'm doing. But I do wish you would have asked me to come with. I miss him. And I'm scared that he is never going to be the cheerful, goofy Chase that he used to be."

I turn my back to the ocean and I face Alex. He's looking down at his feet, almost ashamed at his inability to comfort Chase at this time in his life. I cup his face in my hands and look into his eyes. "No one understands the death of a parent unless they have gone through it themselves, and that is okay. Actually, it is more than okay. You should be happy to have your mom and your dad around, and you should never feel bad about it. I was only able to get through to Chase because I've been in his situation before, I understand what he is going through. And maybe he wasn't ready to explain how he was feeling to you then, but that doesn't mean you can't reach out just to let him know that you are here, ready to be there for him whenever he is ready."

I wipe away the tear that is slowly rolling down his face and press a small kiss to his lips. "You're his best friend Alex, he is always going to need you in his life. He just doesn't know how to need you right now."

I pull him in to me and he nuzzles his face into my neck. I wrap my arms as tightly as I possibly can around him and press quick kisses on his head and any other part of his body I can reach in our embrace. 

When we pull away, I have one thing left to do. 

"Will you forgive me? Pretty please, with a cherry on top?" Alex laughs and I fall to my knees with my fingers intertwined in a pleading motion. "I'm begging you," I laugh, "please forgive me my dear Alex Stryker." 

Alex pulls me up to my feet and looks me in the eye with a grin. "I love you, Leah. So, so, so much."

The cold air around me disappears and my body ignites in flames after hearing those words. "I love you too, Alex."

We stay at the beach for a while longer, holding one another, making out like teenagers, until the cold wind becomes too much to handle. Alex entwines his fingers in mine and we walk back to the coffee shop where his car is parked. 

"Want me to drive you to your apartment? Maybe you can grab whatever you need to stay the night at my place?" 

I give a rushed nod and place a firm kiss on his lips before I rush into his car to escape the quickly dropping temperature as the sun sets. When we get to my apartment, Alex waits in the car while I pack an overnight back filled with pajamas, my toothbrush, and clothes for the following day. As I am about to leave, I turn around and grab one last thing from my room. I stuff the lingerie into my bag without a second thought. No more inner turmoil I remind myself as I lock the door, run down the stairs, and jump into his car.