Take a Chance on Me

Fifty-six

When I wake up the next morning, I turn over in my childhood bed and pick up my phone from my bedside table. Nothing from Alex. Absolutely nothing.

I dial his number and it goes straight to voicemail. I expected this considering his recent strange behavior, but it feels wrong. Why would he miss my birthday? Why wouldn't he give me a reason? Something is definitely wrong. 

The only way to know the truth is to go to his house and talk to him. I throw on a pair of sweats, grab my purse and keys, and walk into my dad's room to say goodbye before heading out the door. 

I kneel down by his side and lightly tap his shoulder. "Dad, I'm going out for a bit. I'll be back in a few hours." 

His eyes open wide in shock and he pulls back from me. "Who are you? What are you doing in my house?"

"Dad? It's me, Leah, your daughter." Tears begin to sting the corners of my eyes. The doctor told me to expect memory loss, but I didn't expect it so soon. 

"I don't have a daughter. Where is my wife?" He's scooting to the other side of the bed, moving as far away from me as possible. 

"Dad, please," I beg. I look at him and I see fear in his eyes. He has no idea who I am. He forgot about me. I step closer and he flinches.

"Stay back!" he screams, "or I'll call the police." I drop to my knees and begin to sob, choking on the air entering and exiting my body. "GET OUT," he screams again and I drag myself out of his room. 

I immediately call 911 and inform them of the situation. I would bring him to the hospital myself, but I know he won't get into my car. He doesn't know me. He's scared. 

Then I call Gabby and tell her to meet me at the hospital as soon as she can. Next, I call Alex, again, hoping that he answers this time.

"Hello?"

"Alex, it's me." I can barely get the words out because I am hyperventilating. "My dad, he's getting bad. Really, really bad. He doesn't remember me. He's going back to the hospital."

"Oh Leah, I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do?"

In the background I hear people chatting. Who is he with? "Alex, where are you? I need you to meet me at the hospital."

"I- I can't Leah. I'm working on a board and I need to get it done. I'm sorry."

I'm in complete shock, not able to get out a word. He can't come to the hospital? My dad is quickly declining and he needs to shape a board?

"Leah? Are you there?"

I swallow back my sobs. "But I need you. Please. And it's the weekend. Put me before work, I am begging you."

I can hear his deep breathing through the phone. Then I hear a voice call his name. "Leah, I'm sorry. I'll come later, but I can't leave right now."

The sirens pull me away from my conversation and I hang up the phone. I run out the front door and guide the paramedics into the house, into his bedroom. When he comes out on the stretcher, I follow closely behind and attempt to get into the back of the ambulance with him. 

"Miss, you're not going to be able to come with us. You're making him nervous and that will only make things worse. I'm sorry."

I sob escapes my throat and I nod my head, understanding but hating it all the same. I jump into my car and follow the ambulance all the way to the hospital. 

-

I'm sitting in the waiting room when I hear Gabby walk through the sliding automatic doors, letting a cool breeze follow her. She walks up to the front desk and demands answers. "Where is Leah Adams? I need to see her right now."

"I don't see a Leah Adams in the system," the front desk responds, not seeming to care about Gabby's needs. 

"Her dad was just admitted. David Adams. Now tell me where Leah is, now."

Gabby's demands get through to the front desk and she points over to me. 

I stand from my seat and meet Gabby halfway. Her face expresses the sorrow filling her body. She wraps her arms around me and my knees buckle. I can no longer support myself but Gabby is right there holding me up.

She guides us to two chairs and comforts me, running her hands through my hair and stroking my back. "Oh Leah." I burst into tears and she pulls me closer. "Shhh, it's okay. He's strong. He's going to fight as hard as he can. Shhh." 

We stay like this until I fall asleep from exhaustion. When I wake up, Gabby is still by my side.

"Where is Alex?" she asks, looking around the waiting room.

"He couldn't make it. Work." I say, wiping my eyes, taking long, deep breaths. 

"Are you fucking kidding me?" She's staring at me, gritting her teeth. I can see the fire raging inside of her. 

I shrug my shoulders because I don't have a response. I don't know why he's not here. I don't understand him at all anymore. 

"What a fucking asshole. I'm going to make a call, I'll be right back."

"Please don't call him," I beg.

"Trust me, I won't. I want nothing to do with him."

With that she turns the corner and is out of sight. All I can do is sit here and hope that my dad has the strength to make it through this. Hope that the doctors put everything they can into him. 

When Gabby comes back, there is someone with her. Someone I never expected to show. 

"Leah," he runs to me and hold me in his arms. I let my head rest on his shoulder and feel his muscles body squeeze me tight.

I don't care that we agreed to not speak to each other or be around one another. I don't care that he's Alex's best friend. What matters is that Chase is here and Alex isn't. 

When I realize that Chase cares more than Alex does, even after I pushed him away, sobs rack my entire body. My heart is breaking - no, it's more than breaking. It's more than shattering. It's disintegrating. How can you put the pieces back together if they no longer exist?