Take a Chance on Me

Thirty-seven

I knock on the door and wait to see Chase. My body feels hot, hands clammy, a noticeable shake emanating. Why am I so nervous? Is it because I want to help Chase but I'm not sure if my words will be able to cure the last few weeks that have overshadowed his life? Or is it because I came here, alone, without Alex? There has to be a reason as to why he responded to me of all people.

The door creaks open, revealing Chase with messy, chocolate brown hair, an Arctic Monkeys tee shirt, and black sweatpants. My nerves heighten. I've never been alone with Chase, at least not in this timeline, and I've definitely never been to his parent's house. Mom's house. 

"Um," I stumble to form a coherent sentence. "Uh I uh have the brownies. I hope you're hungry." I hand him the tray and turn around, beginning my march down his front steps to get to my car. Why am I acting so strange?

"Wait," Chase calls out. "You drove all the way down to Laguna from Costa Mesa. Why don't you come in for a bit? My mom and I have a ton of different dishes made by friends because of... well you know why. Stay for a bit?"

I want to stay, but I don't want to explain this to Alex. But I am the first person Chase has talked to. I need to stay. "Sure, sounds great."

I follow him through the grand entrance and into their state of the art kitchen. Dark, navy blue cabinets with bronze fixtures. White marble countertops that match the sparkling white backsplash over the massive stove. Chase opens the fridge and pulls out a tray of macaroni and cheese and grabs two bowls from a cabinet overhead. 

"Does mac and cheese work? We have other options too."

"Mac and cheese is great. Who doesn't love mac and cheese, right?" I am talking in circles. What is wrong with me?

Chase fills our bowls and heats them in the microwave. Then he pulls out two stools from underneath the kitchen island for us to sit on. I take a bite and fill the silence with obvious conversation.

"How are you?" I ask.

"I'm good," he says, staring into his bowl, moving food around with his fork.

"Chase, how are you really? You can talk to me." I urge him to be honest. I want him to know he can talk to me. He can trust me. I am someone he can vent to. 

"Okay. I'm... I'm... a disaster. I don't know how I will ever get through this. My friends try to understand, they try to help, but I push them away. They don't get it and they never will unless it happens to them."

"Is that why you responded to me, and not Alex? Because I understand?"

I see a tear escape from his eye, rolling down his cheek. He tries to wipe it away before I can notice, but once that tear falls, more follow, leaving steaks down his face and puddling on the counter. I jump off my stool and stand by Chase's side, wrapping my arms around him. At first he remains still as he sits on the stool, using his fork to play with his food. But once he accepts my embrace, he turns into me and holds onto me tight. His body shakes and I do what I can, be there for him. Understand his pain. I can't stop my own tears, tears for anyone who has ever been in this position. 

-

After his body runs out of tears to cry, I suggest something to lighten the mood. 

"Want to watch a funny movie? I promise you will love this one."

Chase begins to clean up dinner. "I'd like that. But let me clean this up real quick."

I grab the bowls from his hands and turn on the sink. He looks at me with a flash of confusion. 

"Go on the couch and turn on Netflix or Hulu or whatever service you have. I got this."

"No no no it's okay. You're the guest." He tries to grab the sponge but I swipe it before he gets the chance.

"Chase, I got this. Now go to the couch and get comfortable. That's an order." 

For the first time since the night of the bonfire, I see a smile flash across his face. 

After I clean the dishes, I grab the tray of brownies from the counter and bring them to the couch with me. Chase gives me a bizarre look as I sink into the cushion next to him.

"What?"

"Would you like a plate?" He eyes the entire tray of brownies and makes eye contact with me.

"Why would I want a plate? I envision us eating all of these."

"Tonight? There is an entire batch brownies on that tray, Leah."

"And? This circumstance calls for an entire batch. Now give me the remote." I flash him a smile and he laughs to himself, surrendering the remote and eating a brownie. 

Chase and I watch Dodgeball and laugh throughout the entire film. Vince Vaughn and Ben Stiller paired together is a recipe for success, and potential for the building of incredible abs. Unless you eat an entire batch of brownies. 

"Did we seriously eat all of these brownies?" Chase asks, his expression a mixture of shock and horror.

"Told you so. It's my secret recipe." I grab the tray from Chase's lap and take it into the kitchen. 

"I need to know the recipe. Please, Leah." 

"It's a secret. Do you want to end up looking like Ben Stiller at the end of the movie?"

Chase lifts his shirt and stares at his stomach. Then he begins squeezing it, making rolls with what little extra skin he has that isn't stuck to his abs.

I look at the clock. 12:30 am. I need to get back to Alex and fill him in.

"I gotta go, Chase. Time flew by and I need some sleep."

"Can we do this again? Maybe with only half of the brownies?" He looks down at his stomach and I laugh to myself. No one should ever doubt my baking skills.

"Definitely."