Take a Chance on Me

Fifty

I'm fidgeting more than I should in the passenger seat of Gabby's car as she drops me off at the rooftop bar in Newport where I am supposed to meet Alex. I shouldn't be this nervous considering this is my fourth first date with the guy. I've known him for years at this point. I should know everything about him, but I know better than to think this will be a piece of cake. Every time I have gone back in time things have changed, like when Gabby and I were no longer best friends, or when Chase lost his dad. Who knows what will change this time. 

Before I exit the car, I pull down the sunshade and look at myself in the mirror, fixing any last second faults. I try my best to rein in my flyaways, but my hair has a mind of its own and it only makes me more nervous. 

"Leah, stop, you look perfect," Gabby says as she closes the mirror. "He's waiting for you up there, go."

"Fine." I open the door to get out and when I close it I try to look at myself in the reflection of the car one last time. Gabby rolls down the window and yells, "STOP STRESSING AND GET IN THERE!"

"I'M GOING!" I yell back and Gabby flashes me a mischievous smile before driving away. 

Before I start my ascend up the stairs to the rooftop I look down at my outfit and try to determine if I made the right choice. Black long sleeve bodysuit, black leather skirt, and black chunky heel boots with minimal makeup and straightening hair. Maybe I should have curled it, and not worn so much black. I force my mind to stop spinning because I can't change anything now. I just have to hope that Alex loves it. 

I spot Alex at a table for two in the corner, looking spiffy in dark jeans and a blue long sleeve. I wonder if he coordinated the blue to match his eyes because they are popping and I can't stop staring. Before I can take the seat across from him, he gets up to greet me. 

"I'm so happy you could make it tonight." He hugs me and motions to our surroundings, an intimate rooftop bar with hanging string lights and cozy heat lamps. "I hope this is okay?"

We both take our seats. "It's perfect. I was really happy to hear from you." I pull my menu up to my face in an effort to cover the blush that is already setting in on my cheeks. Alex smiles at me and my heart flutters, just as I expected it would. He's so charming, every single time. 

"I have an idea," he starts. "Let's see how well we got to know each other from our first impression at the airport this morning." He waits for me to agree and I nod. "I'll order a drink for you and you order one for me and we will see who knows the other better."

"I'm up for the challenge," I respond, feeling an unusual amount of confidence, "but let's make things interesting." Alex's eyes are ablaze, clearly enjoying the twist I've added to his little game. "If I win, you have to tell me a secret that almost no one knows about you."

"And if I win," he adds, "you have to tell me a secret no one knows about you."

"Deal," I say, almost too quickly. I have the advantage, having dated him multiple times in the past, whereas he just met me for the first time this morning. This should be a slam dunk. 

I quickly find his favorite drink. For as posh a guy he seems to be, he has always kept it simple with food and drinks. When the server comes to our table, I order him a Blue Moon and he orders me a Mojito. 

"So, how did I do?" I ask, knowing that I hit the nail on the head. 

"Well, it turns out you got me my favorite drink. How did you know?"

"Oh, you know, just a lucky guess." I smirk and the light in his eyes ignite.

"What about me? Did I guess your drink?"

"I do like Mojitos, but I like strawberry margaritas just a little bit more." He runs his hands through his perfectly messy blonde hair in response. "Looks like you'll be telling me one of your deepest, darkest secrets."

Our server brings our drinks and Alex takes a long gulp before spilling his guts to me. "Hmm, let me think." He takes another drink and puts his finger in the air when it comes to him. "I got it. Remember on the plane this morning when I sat next to you?"

My nervous come back and my body starts to go numb. I hope he isn't going to say what I think he is going to say. "I remember."

"Well, that wasn't actually my seat. It was my buddy, Chase's, the one you met in the airport after we landed. But I saw you sitting there and I knew that I had to get that spot next to you. I knew that it could lead somewhere."

Everything he says is sweet, so sweet, but I can't help but wonder what could have happened with Chase and I if we had the chance. If he was allowed the opportunity to sit in his assigned seat. "You don't think Chase and I would have hit it off?"

"I'm not saying that, but I like to go after what I want, and today, and tomorrow, and months or maybe years from now, that's you." 

I have mixed feelings about everything he is saying. In any other timeline this would have been exactly what I wanted to hear. I would have wanted Alex to be all about me. I would have wanted him to be confident in our potential and work hard to make me his. But this time things feel different. Knowing that Alex and I sitting together on the plane wasn't fate changes things a bit. I don't know what I want. But for the sake of the date and my past with Alex, I owe him and myself another chance to make things right between the two of us. 

"That's really sweet, Alex. Thank you." We both finish our drinks and order another while we get to know each other.

I know he started his own surfboard shaping company during the past year and he wants to expand as much as he can, taking in enough clientele to make it a sustainable business for himself. I tell him about my current job as a social media manager for a clothing company. What I don't tell him is that I want something different, something more meaningful. Something like creating content for books, like designing book covers, or marketing in the publishing industry. But he doesn't need to know all of this yet. If thinks go smoothly, he will have more than enough time to learn more about me.

After a final drink, Alex grabs my hand and pulls me out of my seat. "There's a live band playing downstairs. Will you dance with me?"

I laugh and shake my head, feeling a bit embarrassed, but ten times more confident with the amount of alcohol in my system. "I'm a terrible dancer, but for you, I can't say no."

In front of the band he pulls me close as a slow song begins. "Don't worry, I got you." I rest my head on his chest, his 6'4 frame holding me in his arms. As I sway to the music, I hear the song and my body startles. It's the record that Chase found for me. Mazzy Star, Fade Into You. 

I wanna hold the hand inside you
I wanna take the breath that's true
I look to you and I see nothing
I look to you to see the truth

You live your life, you go in shadows
You'll come apart and you'll go black
Some kind of night into your darkness
Colors your eyes with what's not there

Fade into you
Strange you never knew
Fade into you
I think it's strange you never knew

All I see is Chase.