Take a Chance on Me

Fifty-eight

When I open my eyes I see the familiar walls of my apartment bedroom in Costa Mesa. I roll over to pick up my phone from the bedside table and read the date. 

August 2, 2019

I'm back. I'm out of the time loop. 

But I have learned that going back in time has its consequences. My body is on high alert. My hands are sweating, my face feels like it is on fire. I run out of my room to grab my purse and keys from the coffee table and bolt towards to door. I need to go to the hospital. I need to know that my dad is okay. 

As my hand twists around the doorknob, Gabby runs to me, putting a hand on my shoulder. "What are you doing? You're in your pajamas and it's, what, 7:00 in the morning?"

I say my piece knowing that it might sound crazy, but I need to be completely positive that he is okay. "I'm going to the hospital to check on my dad."

Gabby gently pulls my hand from the doorknob and twist me to face her, her hands on both of my shoulders. Then she raises one hand and presses the back of it to my forehead. "Leah, are you okay? You feel a bit hot. Your dad isn't in the hospital. I don't understand why you would think that."

I stand there, staring at Gabby, in silence. I have no idea what to say. I look like I am insane, running out of the house in the early morning hours in my pajamas. 

Gabby looks me up and down and her eyes widen as an idea forms in her mind. "Oh my gosh," she shakes her head and laughs. "You must be having another sleep walking episode." She grabs one hand and puts the other on the small of my back, slowly leading me back to my bedroom. I play along because there is no other way to get out of this situation without looking completely insane. 

She slides my purse down my arm and takes my keys before lowering me into bed and pulling the covers up to my chin. "Go back to sleep my little Leah," she says as she stands and quietly closes my door, leaving me alone in my room. 

As soon as the door is closed, I sit up and take deeps breaths. One two three breathe in. One two three breathe out.

My dad is okay. He's not sick. Gabby is still my best friend. Now to see if Alex is still my boyfriend. I scroll through the messages on my phone and land on Alex's name. I click open our conversation. It's our final conversation before he announced our "indefinite break". After our He's Just Not That Into You movie night that felt like years ago but was actually just a few weeks ago. 

Are we still hanging out tonight?

Yeah, come over around 8:00?

Sounds like a plan(:

My blood is boiling when I read this conversation. Why would he invite me to his house as if nothing was wrong? As if everything was fine in the Leah and Alex department? I lock my phone and set it down on my bedside table. What's done is done. We are over. I tried to fix things, to give myself unlimited chances with him, but it never worked. If that isn't a sign then I don't know what is. 

I went back in time three times. Three chances to make our relationship work. 

Chance 1: I ruin us because of my jealousy issues on his surf trip. Alex broke up with Leah.

Chance 2: Chase admits his feelings for me and Alex sees us almost kiss at his birthday party. Alex broke up with Leah. 

Chance 3: Alex pulls away from me, just like he did in reality, and put his needs before mine. Oh and he cheated on me. With Jen. Leah broke up with Alex. 

Now I'm back in real time. Out of the time loop. After I broke up with him. 

Me breaking up with him is what broke the cycle. Another sign from the universe that Alex and Leah weren't meant to be. 

But if I was given the opportunity to go back in time, what was the reason? If it wasn't for Alex then who was it for?

I have one final letter to write.