Oh No! | mike wheeler x reader

the case of the missing lifeguard pt.1

Steve, Dustin and I hid behind the bushes, trying to spot anything suspicious. "You see anything?" Dustin asks. "Uh, I guess I don't totally know what I'm looking for," Steve mutters. "Evil Russians," Dustin replies. "Yeah, exactly. I don't know what an Evil Russian looks like," Steve points out. "Tall, blonde, not smiling," Dustin explains. "Ooh! Also, look for earpieces, camo, duffel-bags, anything like that," I add. Steve nods. "Right, okay, duffel-bags. Oh, you've gotta be kidding me," Steve scoffs. "What?" Dustin and I ask. "Anna Jacobi's talking with that meathead Mark Lewinsky," Steve groans. "Dude, if you're not gonna focus, just gimme the binoculars," Dustin demands. "Aw, Jesus Christ, whatever happened to standards? I mean, Lewinsky never even came off the bench," Steve scoffs again. "Maybe he has a nice personality," I suggest. "Dude, you are the worst spy in history, you know that?" Dustin exclaims. Steve protests as Dustin takes the binoculars. "Besides, I don't even get why you're looking at girls. You have the perfect one right in front of you," Dustin begins. "Seriously, if you say Robin again--" Steve mutters. "Robin. Robin, Robin, Robin. Robin. Robin," Dustin mocked as Steve said "no" repeatedly. "No, man, she's not my type. She's not even... in the ballpark of what my type is, all right?" Steve explains. "What's your type again? Not awesome?" Dustin teases. "Thank you," Steve replies sarcastically. "He's right, Steve. You guys have really nice chemistry. That kind of thing is really hard to find," I defend. "For your information, she's still in school. And she's weird. She's a weirdo. And she's hyper. I don't like that she's hyper. And she did drama. That's a bad look. And she's in band? No," Steve groans. "Now that you're out of high school, which means you're technically an adult, don't you think it's time you move on from primitive constructs such as popularity?" Dustin asks. "Oh, primitive constructs? That some stupid shit you learned at Camp... Know... Nothing?" Steve stammers. "Camp Know Where, actually. And no, it's shit I learned from life," Dustin corrects. "Hm," Steve nods sarcastically. "Instead of dating somebody you think's gonna make you cooler, why not date somebody you actually enjoy being around?" I suggest. "Why should I take dating advice from you? You can't even get a man," Steve mocks. Dustin and I's mouths drop at the same time. Steve's eyes widen as he realizes what he says. "Y/n/n, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I love you. I'm sorry," Steve repeats. "Steve, it's fine. Really. I'm over Mike. I'm happy for him and El," I sigh as I put on my fake smile. Steve nods. "Just think of it like me and Suzie," Dustin adds, changing topics. "Oh, Suzie. Yeah, you mean "Hotter than Phoebe Cates." Yeah, that Suzie. And, uh, let's think about how exactly did you score that beautiful girlfriend? Oh, yeah. With my advice. Because that's how this works, Henderson. I give you the advice, you follow through. Not the other way around, all right, pea-brain?" Steve scoffs as Dustin and I look at him in shock. 

time skip

"Target acquired," Dustin blurts. "Where?" Steve and I ask. "Ten o'clock. Sam Goody's," Dustin replies. "Give me that," Steve demands as he grabs the binoculars from Dustin. "Shit. Duffel bag," Steve curses. We all turn to each other. "Evil Russians," We say in sync. The three of us follow the man up the escalator. "Slow down," Dustin calls after Steve. "We're losing him," Steve mumbles. "You're getting too close!" I whisper-yell. "Watch it, dickwad," a man cursed at Steve. The man turns around to face us as we all jerk to hiding positions. When the man turns back around, we continue to follow him. The man enters the Jazzercise room. We watch as he unzips the duffel bag to reveal a boombox. He then unzips his black jumper to reveal a vibrant colored shirt. "Holy muscle," I gawk at the man's arms. "Ew!" Steve and Dustin groan. I follow Steve's eyes to seem his staring at the girl's butts. "Creep," I mutter. 

"Yo, Robin, you're not gonna believe who Dustin thought was a Russian," Steve begins as the three of us walk in to Scoops. "You did too," Dustin adds. "No, I did not," Steve lies. Robin runs right past us. We follow her out to the middle of the mall. "Robin. What are you doing?" Steve asks. "I cracked it," Robin blurts. "Cracked what?" Steve asks. "I cracked the code," Robin smiles.