28th October 2014
I told you. I didn’t keep my own promise and told you. You’re watching me write this right now. I told you. I’m full of broken promises. Why? Why can’t I ever keep a simple promise?
The guilt was eating away at me last night. You wanted to have a good night and I destroyed it. I cut again. I told you. I broke your promise. I can’t do anything anymore. I don’t deserve you; I don’t deserve to live.
I should leave, maybe end my own life. I told you. I broke it. Looking at the cuts makes pain and guilt shoot through my body. I want to show you but there are too many people around. Help me… please? I need help.
I want everyone to know what I’ve done. I want everyone to see the pain I’m in. But I don’t want anyone to know at the same time…
One hour later
I tried to cut again but it wasn’t sharp enough. I couldn’t find anything sharp. I tried one of my key rings but that didn’t work. I tried my earring but that didn’t work either. I want something sharp but I don’t have anything. I deserve pain. I deserve to cut. I deserve to watch the blood run down my leg. I want that pain because I deserve it.
YOU ARE READING
Dark in Me
Non-FictionBook one in the 'Dark' series. **** This is a diary where I write all my thoughts and occurrences from September 2014 to January 2016. IT IS 100% TRUE! It's a huge trigger to anyone going through cutting and tough times. It's just my story for anyon...
