I love you. I've never felt better with you in my life.
I still have my downs though sometimes. That night, all those months ago, I did cut like I said I would and I didn't get to see you for ages as you were away on holidays. Those days were tough. I'm spending the day with you tomorrow, however, and I can't wait because I know it will be amazing.
I had a panic attack last night. I couldn't breathe for 15 minutes and I was shaking furiously. I've never had a panic attack so badly like that before and it scared me. I was petrified and I didn't know what to do. Rocking back and forth, whispering to myself that I wasn't okay, I was stunned.
The cause was you. But it was my fault. I promise it was my fault. I'm sorry. It was all my fault. I pushed you and you got upset. I'm so sorry.
I don't know what to say anymore. I think I'm okay now.
I think everything will be better now.
Or at least, I hope...
YOU ARE READING
Dark in Me
Non-FictionBook one in the 'Dark' series. **** This is a diary where I write all my thoughts and occurrences from September 2014 to January 2016. IT IS 100% TRUE! It's a huge trigger to anyone going through cutting and tough times. It's just my story for anyon...
