Dark in Me

28th February 2015

28th February 2015

I'm overwhelmed, not that you care. You don't care about me anymore and I know this because I want you to say that you don't love me anymore and you said you would with no hesitation. You don't care because I know when you say those words that I'll cry and want to die.

i wish you didn't move on. You say that I don't need anyone but I do. You don't understand how lonely my life is since you left! I constantly want to die and cut and self harm but I refrain for no god damn reason at all! I hope that you still care and still want me so I don't hurt myself but it's useless now, isn't it? There's no point in stopping anymore!

I hate you! Why do you have to be this way? You said you changed because of what I did and I guess that might be true but now you're horrible, disrepectful, arrogant and just not a very nice person. Where did the kind, honest, loving, caring, amazing you go? I loved him and he disappeared with our relationship! I still love him and I love you even though you've turned into a uncaring and disrepectful person...

I crave your touch, your lips and every part of you. There will always be a piece of me you took away and now you have. Why do you have to be so perfect and irresistable? It kills me looking at you and not doing anything. My whole life stops for that split second that I look at you and I admire everything about you. Why can't you be mine again?

I wish you would love me like you did...

Why does my world have to stop for you? My heart still races looking at you even though I know it means absolutely nothing to you. You don't even care anymore! You rip my heart out the more and more I see you because it was all you! You broke it off! It was no neutral break up crap! It was all you! Why couldn't you just say you were breaking up with me? Was that so hard? I only agreed to the neutral crap because it hurt me more than anything to see you so hurt. It killed me knowing that just you being with me was hurting you so I agreed to the neutral sh*t just to make you happy. Your happiness means more than anything to me but you don't care about me at all!

Did I mean anything to you? You're so different that it seems like I was nothing but another girl. What happened to me being your perfect girl? Your dream girl that could never be replaced? Was that just f*cking bullsh*t? Was all of that a lie?

We were the perfect couple in everyone's eyes and I thought we would last forever. I still cry to this day because I lost you. You were mine. We were perfect. You meant the world to me and now your gone. Your f*cking gone like none of it meant anything to you!

Why me?