7th October 2014
Last night I felt like cutting again. I really wanted to but I left my razor in my room so I couldn’t. Right now all I want to do is cut. I mentioned her and spoke about what if she never left. I made you feel terrible. I might as well cut.
You just said that you hate your life because you generally aren’t very happy. I feel so numb but I can’t cry. I’ve cried too much that there’s now nothing left in me. Cutting will make me feel better. I know it will. It doesn’t take much to step across the room and grab a razor. I wouldn’t have to tell you I did it again; I’d hide it. “I hate my life” you said. “Why do you hate your life?” I asked. “Cos I’m just generally not very happy” you replied. “Oh” was all I said.
My heart has a sinking feeling in it every time I breathe out. Cut. One word. Maybe I should do it. I promised though. I wouldn’t have to tell you though. I don’t know what to do. Cut… cut… cut! I feel the need to do it. I have to! But I promised. I can’t break another promise. I can’t… I don’t know what to do. I can’t do it but I have to.
Help. Help me. Please. Someone save me from this battle that is tearing me apart. I don’t know what to do anymore! I never know what to do! I need help. I want you to know. I want everyone to know. I can’t tell anyone. What do I do?! Help me. Please?
YOU ARE READING
Dark in Me
Non-FictionBook one in the 'Dark' series. **** This is a diary where I write all my thoughts and occurrences from September 2014 to January 2016. IT IS 100% TRUE! It's a huge trigger to anyone going through cutting and tough times. It's just my story for anyon...
