Chapter 41- What Are You Living For?

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You had done it.
            You had reconfigured BB27's navigational system, given your TIE fighter a boost of thrust, and taken off from the beautiful swamps of Dagobah.
Now, you and the droid BB27 were hurling through space at top speed, frantically tracking the ghostly remnants of The First Order through Mitaka's surveillance systems.
            It wasn't the most conventional method of travel per se, especially considering you had no idea where you were going, but it was your only shot, and you had to make it count.
            "Beep bop!" Said BB27.
            "I know," you replied, "The signal keeps scrambling. But we have to keep trying. We've got to. We've got to—!"
           "Boop?"
           Suddenly, both BB27 and the dashboard on your TIE's navigational interface lit up, and began flashing like crazy. According to the scanners, you were close, and when you looked out the window, you could see there was something looming in the distance...
A fleet of Star Destroyers...
           "There it is!" You practically shrieked, "The First Order! We're back! We found them! Come on!"
            Without any hesitation, you engaged the ship in overdrive, and made your way closer to the fleet. And, what you saw at the point position nearly brought tears to your eyes:
The Finalizer!!!!
            You quickly steered your way over to the TIE dock—the same dock where you first met Hux face to face—and set yourself up to land. But apparently, you weren't being careful enough, as you essentially crashed your ship into a domino fall of five others.
There was chatter all across the dock, and you thought you heard the sounds of blasters being cocked, as well as possibly a small explosion which may-or-may not have been your fault.
"Uhhh hold your fire!" You called as you busted out of the TIE fighter, "I'm First Order— I was just missing... I don't have time—"
You heard lasers being disengaged, and murmurs of confusion as you leapt out of the TIE fighter and ran towards the corridor you knew so well.
"Is that...[y/n]?" One of the troopers said. You recognized it as Brent (or, BR-347, as was his technical designation).
"I think it is!" Said Elsie, who stood at his side.
"Should we...stop her?" Brent asked.
"I don't...think it's our problem."
Meanwhile, you ran as fast as you can, so fast you didn't realize when BB27 got caught in a circle of troopers, trying their very best to inspect him.
"Bleep blooop!" He said, but the officers only raised their blasters, and looked to each other in confusion.
"We need to send this droid in for inspection," said one of them.
"Yeah," said the other, "But out best droid programmer went missing a little while ago. After Starkiller."
"Huh. You mean the crazy one who liked streaking down the halls?"
"Yeah her. She's been MIA ever since."
There was a pause.
"Hey..." one trooper piped in finally, "Wasn't that her?"
"......"
"....."
"Kriff."

                                       ———

            By the time you reached Hux's quarters, you could barely catch your breath. You impatiently pressed on the door button.
He has to be here, you thought, he has to....he has to...
            Before you could collect your thoughts, the speaker crackled on.
"Hux! Hux are you okay?," you yelled, "You're alive, right? I came back...came back to save you-!"
            "Hello?" Hux's voice came through the intercom, "Who is it? What is it?"
            "It's [y/n]", you said. "I've returned. Are you alright? There was this signal I picked up on, through a droid, and you were running, and there was rubble, and you looked in danger and— are you—?."
You no longer had the breath to support your words.
"—alright?"
            There was a long moment of silence from the other side. At the very least, you knew he was alive. You'd heard his voice.
You began to think that maybe, Hux just didn't want to see you. Didn't want anything to do with you— made his bed with Kylo Ren and didn't want to get out of it.
That's fine. You thought, As long as he's not dead....as long as he's not dead...
            And so your heart softly wilted , as you turned around to leave, but then suddenly, the door slid open, and you felt yourself being lifted in a tight embrace—spun around, and kissed furiously.
           "You do not know," whispered Hux, "How much I missed you, [y/n]. You cannot begin to imagine it—"
            You felt your eyes begin to sting.
            "Armitage, I thought you were dead," you cried, "I really thought you were dead."
            "I thought you were...Or rather, I wouldn't let myself think about it. I couldn't...let myself..."
            "Oh Armitage..."
            "Shhh... " Hux said, "come in. Supreme Leader Ren doesn't know you're here yet."

Supreme Leader Ren?

"I'm sorry...what???"
            "Kylo he's...in command, now. Against my will. Against everybody's. There's much you need to be filled in on. You missed some extremely pivotal events..."
"And you're...still with him?"
Hux furrowed his brow.
"What?"
"Still with him? With Ren?"
"I- do you?"
"Romantically involved. Sexually involved. Are you and Ren-"
"Me and Ren," spat Hux, "aren't anything. And that is something I shall never hope to forget. Ever again."
"Really? But what about-?"
"Ren seduced me with his darkness once, and he shall not succeed again. Through my...failure...I realized that...I do not want to be involved with him. At all. There was a moment..."
"Yes?"
"I moment where...I would've...I could have ended him. But I did not make the choice quick enough. And now, I have paid the price."
You let this sink in.
"It's not your fault, Hux," you said, "If it was only a moment, it was only a moment, and—"
"The First Order," Hux said seriously, "Is under the complete and utter control of him. What do we do now?"
What could anyone do?
"Well," you said eyes grazing over the long sofa in Hux's room, "You could start by kissing me again."
Dead silence.
"Oh," said Hux, "Yes. I...I suppose that is...an option."
There was something in the air that was electric.
"I'm not like him, Armitage, and I never will be. I won't do the things he does, or say the things he says...I learned a lot about myself," you whispered, "On Dagobah."
Hux flinched.
"Dagobah?" He said, "That swamp-covered, leech-infested Jedi scum planet? That's where you were—"
"Listen. Dagobah was beautiful. And there were no Jedi there. Nothing but trees, and water, and creatures, and peace—"
"[Y/n], we are The First Order, we cannot—"
"I felt something, Armitage. Something beyond The Jedi. Beyond the Sith. Beyond the Resistance or The First Order."
"What, are you going to say love?"
"Hope."
Hux's eyes grew wide.
"Hope?"
"Hope that runs deeper than all this...hope for us. Hope for the hopeless..."
"I am not hopeless!"
"But I was. I am, hopeless for you. Because I was planning on leaving all this and dying there. But it was hope that brought me back to you."
You could see a slight shift in Hux, as if he finally understood something beyond. But he rolled his eyes anyway.
"Then I suppose we are connected by The Forceee!!"
"Oh shut up!"
You shoved him playfully.
"All I'm saying is that there's something I need to tell you because if I don't say it now, I'm afraid I'll never get the chance to."
"Yes? What is it? I'm listening."
You swallowed hard.
"I love you."
You could see Hux's face grow pale. Well, paler than usual—
"You- I"
"It's okay," you said. "I don't need you to say it back. But I needed to say it because if I didn't—"
But before you could finish, Hux's lips were on yours, and his arms were wrapped around you, and you had never felt so warm in your life.
"I do not intend to say it, [y/n]," Hux said finally, "Because I would much rather show you...."
"Oh...Oh yes...so you mean?"
"I think I'd better make up for botched nights and lost time, don't you think?"
You felt your cheeks flushing red.
"I'd like that very much indeed, General. Very much indeed."

———

When you woke up, tangled up in Hux's sheets, and Hux's body, you didn't feel embarrassed, or worried, or threatened, or hurt. This time, for the first time, you felt like you were exactly where you were meant to be.

No matter what anyone had to say about it.

They could have sent armies after you. They could send fleets. Kylo Ren could face you himself, and you would take him in combat.

Because General Armitage Hux was worth fighting for.
Worth dying for.
But most of all, he was someone, even amongst the darkest depths of The First Order, worth living for.
And oh, did you live.

***AUTHORS NOTE

I love you. And so does Hux.

No matter what happens in the film.

THIS is your ending.

Or at least, a new beginning.

Hopefully, something to live for.

-Xoxoxo, Jessie❤️❤️❤️

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