She was ok for a Potter

What a story

"Mum! We've found Y/n! She's ok!" George called up to his mum as he opened the door to let Fred and Y/n through.
"Barely." Y/n jokingly remarked as she passed George. George ruffled her hair as he helped Fred sit Y/n down on a nearby chair.There was then a stampede of people coming down the stairs to come and see Y/n. Harry practically threw himself at Y/n hugging her as tightly as he could, as if when he let go she would leave.
"Thank god your alright!" He said as he hugged her. He then clipped her round the head.
"Ow!"
"Don't you EVER do that to me again!" Hardy said sternly.
"Alright! Jeez! I won't!"
"Oh! Dear, what happened?!" Mrs Weasley cried, panicked like her motherly self.
"Got jumped in the village by a few guys I ticked off. He George, be a pall and pass me my bag, would ya?" Y/n said using her free hand to point at the bag on George's shoulder.

George did as Y/n said. Y/n tipped the bag upside down, trying to look for something that got buried by all the crap she carried with her. The bottles of half drunk alcohol clinched out and thudded onto the floor, followed by a bunch of rubber bands, a half eaten sandwich, a bag loaded with Y/n's winnings and a white box.
"Hey Harry, I cant reach that stuff, can you pass the white box that's next to the vodka?"
"Why on earth do you have those bottles with you Y/n?!" Mrs Weasley cried, now both panicked and confused.
"I'll explain myself in a sec. Harry, there's a tab on the side of the box, pull it." Harry did as he was told and the box opened up it then started to fold out and take the shape of a wiry looking humanoid. Harry dropped the box in surprise as it unfolded itself. What had folded was a new invention of Y/n's. A magical robot healer. It had plank like limbs and a big blue car light for and face.
"MARCO in action. What is the issue this time Y/n?" The robot asked as it booted itself up.
"Yo MARCO, I got a bullet in my side. Be a friend and get it out for me?"
"MARCO is surprised that Miss Y/n has not broken her arm again."
"You and me both pal." MARCO turned so that he faced Y/n.
"Proceeding scanning." A horizontal blue light shot out of its face and went up and down Y/n's body.
"MARCO's assessment stated that you have TWO bullet wounds and you are INTOXICATED."
"Really?! I had no idea!" Y/n said sarcastically "call me out in front of everyone why don't you?" Y/n said just before she burped, proving MARCO's point.

"MARCO warn you. This may hurt a bit." MARCO told Y/n as he made a pair of tweezers appear out of nowhere. Everyone in the room was looking at MORCO and staring in shock at what they just saw.
"Yo MARCO, why not knock me out or something before you pull it out?!" Y/n protested.
"MARCO can certainly see your logic Miss Y/n, but how else will you learn your lesson? Besides, Miss Y/n is so INTOXICATED thatMiss Y/n will barely feel the tweezers pull the bullet out. However, for extra measures, MARCO suggest that Miss Y/n take a sip of this." MARCO then made a hip flask appear out of nowhere and handed it to Y/n. She took it and took the swig.
"Ooh! Whiskey!" Y/n went to take another sip but Harry took it before the bottle could glitch Y/n's lips.
"MARCO suggests that, if anyone is squeamish, they leave the room in order for MARCO to operate in peace." Ginny and Flur left the room, but everyone else stayed.

Satisfied with the situation, MARCO proceeded to operate. He carefully put the tweezers into the wound and cautiously extracted the wound from the fleshy mess. Hermione buried her head in Ron's shoulder and various members of the room winced at the sight, including Y/n.
"MARCO assumes that Miss Y/n would wish to keep the extracted bullet for what you call "memories.""
"Hell yeah bro." Y/n said weakly. A little hatch opened up in MARCO's chest and a tray of zip lock bags came out. MARCO graves one and sealed the bloody bullet inside. He gave a baggie to Harry for him to hold. The table containing the bags went back into his chest, the hatch closed, then opened again. Out of the hatch this time Came a whirling roll of bandage, it wrapped itself around Y/n's middle, under her shirt and over her shoulder to ensure that it stayed in the correct place.
"MARCO suggests that Miss Y/n drinks this." MARCO closed his chest hatch again and then held out his arm. Another hatch opened on his forearm revealing a small glass vile, containing a thick, pink liquid. Y/n took the vile and swallowed it's contended without a second thought.
"MARCO recons Miss Y/n will be better by the time of TOMORROW. To deal with the INTOXICATION, MARCO suggests..." MARCO was stopped mid sentence as Y/n cried out.
"I AM SATISFIED WITH MY CARE!"
"MARCO must go." MARCO then powered himself down and folded back into the little white box. This time, he had stuck a note to himself which Harry grabbed before Y/n had the chance.

"What was that?" Hermione asked.
"That was MARCO. My Magical. Animatronic. Regenerating. Creation. Object. Or MARCO for short. I invented him so that if I broken myself and no one's around, I can just get MARCO out to fix me. I gave him some of my magic so he never runs out of tools or equipment and has an unlimited power life. He also has a bunch of vile's of Pipsqueak's spit!" Y/n explained to the room. At this point, Ginny and Flur had re entered and were listening to Y/n's explanation.
"Why Pipsqueak's spit?" Ron asked
"Dick and I found out last year that Morpheus saliva has the best healing properties known to wizard kind. It can cure almost any poison and heal any disease or broken bone."
"How did you find that out?" Harry laughed.
"I broke my arm once and Pipsqueak started to lick my face when I was on the floor. Next thing I know, my arm is better than ever! Where is Pipsqueak anyway?" Hardy looked towards the group and they all huddled together, whispering.

"What are you guys whispering about? Sure, leave out the cripple!" Y/n exclaimed, offended about being left out.
"Pipsqueak's our this way." Harry said as he offered Y/n his arm to lead her to Pipsqueak. The group then led Y/n to the side of the house. Harry left Y/n to stand by the wall while everyone else stood in a line opposite her.
"Hey Y/n! Touch your nose!" Both Fred and George called from the line. Y/n tried to do this, but ended up almost poking herself in the eye. Everyone snickered to themselves, having never seen Y/n so wasted.
"Ready?!" Harry yelled to the gathering.
"For what?" Y/n asked, confused and slightly scared.
"On three!"
"What on three?" She said more panicked this time.
"One!"
"What are we doing?!"
"Two!"
"I don't consent to this!"
"Three!"
"This is bullying!" Was the last this Y/n yelled before the line cast aquamenti and shot Y/n with a cold jet of water, sobering her up completely.
"Ok, Ok! I get the picture! I'm sober!" Y/n spluttered as she spat out some of the water. Everyone laid off of the water and let Y/n catch her breath.
"You guys are the worst." Y/n laughed as she bent double, possibly choking on some of the water.

After Y/n was all dry and everyone had finished laughing, they all sat in front of the fire with big mugs of hot coco. Y/n had finished telling her epic story and showing off her new tattoo, Harry was not happy that Y/n had both gotten a tattoo and that she had her first drink and got drunk without him. Harry then told Y/n what happened to them while Y/n was gone and told her that the next day was actually their birthday.

Mrs Weasley confiscated Y/n's booze until she was seventeen, Pipsqueak showed up after an hour of Y/n's arrival, smothering her with love at the first sight of her. Y/n then walked up to Ginny's room with Hermione and Ginny and they all went to bed after their exhilarating day.