When Silver Met Gold

Chapter 35 - Falling off a cliff

Now that you live my chest, anywhere we sit is a mountain top. -Rumi

Two weeks, I had not shed a single tear and I was proud of myself. I ate with my siblings but stayed in my room more. Staring into space, or sleeping myself into a limbo.

I was trapped in the cave of memories, imaginations, pain, and darkness. There was no way to get out. I searched for different ways, there were none. The cave was becoming smaller with each passing day and I was suffocated and unable to breathe.

I prayed and offered Namaz as I did before, I listened to lectures from the Quran in my phone or I listened to the audio Qur'an to make myself feel a bit closer to Allah and I did feel close to him.

"A book which we have revealed to, that might bring mankind out of the darkness."

I was reciting the ayah, repetitively, trying to feel nothing but hope. It was from Surah Ibrahim. It gave me a tiny light of hope. Allah had helped me in all the situations, I have survived my life, a loveless life, then he bestowed me with loving people, and people who didn't care before started to care too. I was hoping for something good, I was hopeful that I would get something too.

In the useless routine, it was the only thing that made me feel alive. Sometimes, I zoned out in my Namaz, thinking about all the depressing thoughts, staring at the design on my praying rug. Then, I had to offer it again and at that time with extra attention and care.

Papa was busy again, I rarely saw him and if I did, it was in the morning because he had been late for work. He was sweet as always but he didn't have time for me as always. I was used to him being sweet and far-off. I was never affected by his behavior but these days it stung as if someone was pinning my heart with needles.

Every day, Sky came straight to my room and asked me questions about the person, whose name upon hearing my heart jolted like a wild animal and my stomach dropped as if thrown from the thirteenth floor of a building.

Today she was here again, paining me with her questions, unaware that she was shattering my heart, giving me deep cuts.

"What the hell happened Musca?" She always said my name when she was gravely serious. "Why did you leave? What happened to Aaliyan?"

I bit my lip harshly - controlling my overwhelming as my tears fell on the dead soil of my heart because I wouldn't let them fall out of my eyes.

She shook me violently. "Tell me! Else I swear to God I will call him and ask!"

"You won't do that!" It came out as a shocked whisper than a threat.

"I will and you know it."

"Don't you have anything to do with your stethoscope? Have doctors these days stopped working and started putting their nose in other's businesses?"

"Yes," she said carelessly. "Now tell me!"

"He is my cousin."

She raised her eyes for me to continue.

"He is my cousin, did you listen?"

"So what, I don't care and I already know it, tell me what happened." She took the pillow and put it in her lap, gripping it tightly, oblivious to my surprise.

"How?"

"Because he told me?" she shrugged, putting her lower lip out.

"When?" I gritted my teeth, he told her and not me. Stupid egoistic alien!

"When he was here duh!" Sky was getting irritated.

"What!" I could have sworn the birds nearby flew away listening to my ear-shattering scream.