Chapter 24 - We're Going Home

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To hurt is as human as to breathe. - J.K. Rowling

Playlist: Cold - Maroon 5


Aaliyan's P.O.V.

I stood there traumatized, a sculpture of salt. I tried to make something in my mind to stop her but it had stopped working. Tears glided down my cheeks. It was the only thing I knew I shouldn't do but I did. The veins in my temples were pulsing with pain. The heartache was unbearable.

Musca had vanished from my vision. She was gone but her words were not. Did you forgive your mother?

Yes, I didn't forgive her. I never aimed to muster the courage to forgive her. Who could forgive a parent who left you when you were a child when you needed them the most? Who?

Musca did. A voice inside me said.

Yes, she forgave, but she forgave when she couldn't be angry anymore. When she didn't have to fight her mother because she was no more. She was dead.

Was I waiting for my mother to...?

It was an answer, I didn't have. I looked up and saw black fog preventing me from seeing anything. I called out. I couldn't due to the ball of tears in my throat. I again tried, this time I was successful. "Peeru!"

The fog around me scattered, clearing the view for me. The mansion was on its place with all its glory and shine.

"Ji Aaliyan Baba," Peeru was at my side.

"Chabi dou?" I asked him for the keys.

"Mai ap ko le chaltu hun ap theek nahi lagtey,"

"Mai ne kaha chabi do!" He put the keys in my hand. I paced towards my car parked on the porch. I got into it and drove. The tears falling from my eyes had picked up speed. I didn't see anything but blurry lights.

I had done wrong. I was aware of it. I messed up a great deal. I lied. I lied to her. I should have told her the truth. I should have. However, I could not. I could not assemble the courage to. Every day with her was a blessing but it was an azaab, a torment too. Afraid that one day she'd read those letters, she'd come to me and ask me answers never let me sit with relief.

Today was the day I wanted to propose to her. I thought today was the day I should tell her everything. Today was the day - she might forgive me because today was my birthday. I was thinking like a child. It was not a child's play. It was not like I'd reveal secrets that'd hurt her. She would forgive me because it would be my birthday and I would propose to her to marry me.

I was a fool to think like that. I was a fool. An idiot, I had become an idiot in her love. I had become unreasonable. I was not thinking the way I was meant to. I was a fool, Allah!

I could have told her in the beginning. I did wrong by keeping secrets. I should have told her everything. I should have... I had so many should haves and could haves and only one answer to them.

Aaliyan you lost her! You lost her! You lost her!

The car was still moving forward. The tears weren't slowing down anytime soon. I had come down the hill. Now I was driving on the city roads. My mind was going blank and then a face appeared in my vision. A face as if made of cream and sunshine. But it was wet with tears. Silver enigmatic eyes were pink, due to preventing tears. Those no matter broke the barriers and slid down her cheeks and after that, I only saw darkness.


Musca's P.O.V.

What was coming to my mind and what was going? I was unable to keep track. How much time had passed? I did not know. I was lying on the bed numb. It was dark when I had come to this room in my grandfather's mansion. The sound of Adhan had fainted. Birds were chirping outside. The sky was changing colors, I could know from the opened window.

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