Eventually

04 | discussing

[ WARNING; major spoiler alert for The Fault In Our Stars ]

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D I S C U S S I N G

The Fault In Our Stars.

I swear, for me, it's the best John Green book I've ever read. It was so good that I read it for continuous four times and oh god! I cried every time I read it.

I came back home the other day. Mum luckily, had sent the text as a remainder to come home and not something as a warning. Either way, there were perks of having Cancer.

I sat on my bed from the very morning, listening to music and reading a book. I flipped through the pages of Fangirl! The book was honestly great but I just couldn't give the concentration required to thoroughly enjoy the book. I occasionally kept glancing at my phone that was kept next to me. At the least, a text was what my heart eagerly waited from Luke. I closed the book, stopped the music, removed my EarPods and walked down to the kitchen. I saw my mother making lunch for both of us. (Dad's at work. So he usually eats form the canteen there.)

"Hey mum. Want some help? I'm bored." I asked her standing next to her.

"Thank you, darling." And she handed over the tomatoes to me to chop them.

My mother was sensationally perfect. A systematic woman she was, she had everything in an extreme neatly kept and systematically ordered. Her cooking was just extraordinary and her Italian was just out of the world. Probably that's because she took culinary science at school. My mother was one person who treated me as the same after acquiring the knowledge of me having cancer.

"Chop it fine, alright. I need it very fine for today's lunch. I'm making Indian today. Probably the southern Tomato Rice." I nodded and concentrated on the fine slicing. I heard the phone produce the messaging sound (I've got that of a bird chirping) as soon as I finished slicing the tomatoes. I looked at my mom to see if I can pick it up.

"You've finished the work I'd given you, so go. Oh! And the tomatoes are sliced to my satisfaction. Thank you." She smiled as she allowed me to leave her presence.

I pulled my phone out from my pocket, entered my password and opened iMessage as I walked to my room. I sat on my bed. The text lit me up. I saw the number and saved it to my contacts.

Fletcher: The book's fabulous. Honestly just amazing. Oh god! I've got my feels in a mix right now. Seriously, right now, I understand the joy of reading such cliché romance books. I agree with you, acid. I'll stop this text right now because My thoughts are stars that I cannot fathom into a constellation.

I laughed at the very last line of the entire text. I texted him back quickly.

Lol. I'd pass you many more of my cliché books if this is the response I'd get. So which was your favourite part and why?

I waited for the reply and I instantly received it.

Hmm. Tricky question. Every single part in the book was good. Well. I'd go for the part where Hazel goes all violent on that author. It's kind of fun seeing her doing violent stuffs. What did you like?

I raised my eyebrows and mentally noted that Luke was a typical young man loving the violent things in his life. I texted back as I turned to lay flat on my stomach.

*imagining. It's imagining not seeing. And you are into violent stuff, huh? Didn't expect that. I liked the part where Augustus says, "I love you and I'm not into the habit of denying the simple pleasures of life." (I hope I'm somewhere close to the actual quote.) It's just so sweet. And the way he jumps around with eagerness at that same instance in the aeroplane. Isn't it sad John Green killed Gus at the end?

After that text, I wondered if Luke liked texting me too. The same joy, the feeling of having butterflies in your stomach and those smiles that bloom on your face at the occasional times.

It was but it was necessary. If John Green hadn't killed Gus, the book would have been sappy and expected. The book wouldn't be the bestseller. It wouldn't have made teenagers all over cry. It would not have got girls all over the world fantasising about Gus. (I fantasise about Hazel cause she is just the perfect girlfriend.)

Perfect Girlfriend? Well. At that moment my heart had this desire of being a Hazel for Luke. The kind of feelings I would encounter being his girlfriend would be just out of the world. Luke would have been Gus if I had been Hazel.

You know when we are having such a discussion, it'd be better if either one of us called the other?

It wasn't meant to be like a question but I'd do anything to get onto his good books. Isn't that what everyone did when they had a crush? I sent the message and after few minutes, I received a call from Luke.

"Hey, Luke." I chirped while shaking my legs allowing it to move wherever it wanted to.

"Hello."

"What's up?" I asked trying to rid us of the tension building up.

"You're too formal. No one asks such questions these days." I heard Luke say. Says the man who greeted me with a hello, I thought.

"Well then let's go back to the discussion we were having that revolved around The Fault In Our Stars." I started.

"Would you stand for or against Augustus dying?"

"For."

"Why so?"

"Do you want a predictable cliché book or an unpredictable cliché book?"

"Hey! Don't question me back. It's my turn to ask you the question." I laughed.

"Well. Gus was just too good to be true. And things don't always go right when everything goes smooth. And more over, it's a very rare sight of seeing people putting a full stop to cancer. So more than standing for the death, I believe it was essential for him to die. Else where's the thrill in the book? How would people cry?"

"I disagree. Well, Hazel was heartbroken at the death of Augustus and-"

"Duh. Obviously she will be."

"Don't cut me off, Klutz." He continued. "So where was I? Yeah! Hazel was heartbroken at the death of Augustus. It was great of her to try moving on after the entire death and the letter but try relating with reality. No human can let go easily. Possessiveness. That's what makes us selfish. And in the case of love, it's good. People in reality, if put in Hazel's condition, would have done the easy way out technique. Suicide. So as to be with their loved one." His words felt like as if he had experienced it and it shook me. I was completely shocked and speechless after his fabulous justification. As a very thoughtful person, I started thinking of various reasons.

"Amor, you there?" He said as he brought me back to reality. I murmured a yes.

"So?"

"So?" It was getting extremely awkward and I did not know any ways to make this more interesting. Luckily, his mother asked him to complete a chore.

"Lucas, I need you to go to the next door supermarket and fetch me a carton of milk. Thank you, hon." She asked him and I heard a positive reply from his side too.

"I got to go. Mum needs me to do some work for her. I'll talk to you later. Take care. Bye."

"Bye." I said and disconnected the call.

I laid on my bed and faced the ceiling. I thought about how Luke and I would make a wonderful pair. I laid there on my bed for few minutes thinking Luke.

Because that moment I realised that I felt infinite with him.