| Chaos | ATEEZ |

|| THIRTYTWO ||

The wind blew through my hair , it was the only thing that kept me calm after everything , the constant and continuous sound of the wind flying, reminded me of what free was, not that I ever knew the meaning in the first place.

The wind was able to cut through moment and leave , never come back until it wanted too. Something I always envied , being able to fly away and never come back, maybe when everything was better and nothing could go wrong until it did and I could pick up and leave again.

That how's it felt when I saw my fathers face on Mingis screen , It felt like he had picked up and outed , gone with the wind , left never to come back until it all got better.

My eyes became heavy and I wanted to chase the never ending abyss that would be sleep , but something kept my eyes open , something urged me to stay awake and not even blink.

My eyes fluttered close but I knew that I wouldn't be able to get a glimpse of sleep , at the moment it felt like a comfort thing. It had been 15 minutes since my eyes closed and I finally heard my mothers voice.

"Where are we going?"

My eyebrows furrowed .

"There's no guarantee that one of your safe houses aren't compromised , So we are going to one of ours Jisoo"

There was a deafening silence that entered the car and for a second I could hear the loose gravel hitting the wheels and sides of the car , I slowly peeled my eyes opened and I saw Jin had put a hand on my mothers right thigh. Her hand was on top of his rubbing her thumb in circles .

A hot shiver ran through my body and I couldn't help but feel the little pieces of my heart shatter into even more minuscule pieces . I glued my eyes shut once more letting a tear roll done my face , they weren't completely oblivious to how I wasn't sleeping.

...

The ride was going by excruciatingly slow , I didn't focus on the old fashioned radio music but the sound of the wind whipping around outside and inside the black SUV.

After a half hour the tyres squeaked and rolled to a halt indicating we had stopped. I opened my eyes. We were at a gas station in the middle of nowhere , Jin had gotten out of the car and went inside. My mother had watched him enter the store before starting to type on his phone again.

"So he was the one from the party?"

I said pulling the lever down the side of the chair reclining it backwards. My mother stiffened and I could feel the stare she gave me through the rear view mirror.

"I have no idea what you are talking about Darling"

She pulled her purse into her lap going into it grabbing a mirror and that horrid red lipstick she looked like she ate in a daily. The cap clicked open.

"I know you saw me that night"

I said shuffling more and leaning back staring at the car ceiling. The cap was closed aggressively and I heard a hard sigh leave her mouth.

"Nows not the time Minjae. What you think you saw that night was just a figment if your imagination. Don't conjure up some obscure scenario just because you're hurting ok, Just so you know I feel the same way about your fathers death as you do"

I didn't bother looking at her and continued to stare at the roof for a couple seconds . Sitting up I took sighed and moved closer to the middle and she turned to look at me.

"If you really cared about dad as much you say you do , You wouldn't have been in the kitchen blowing this guy like a whore, Then also running back to him as soon as he died ok?"

Her jaw slacked open and she couldn't process what I had said for a second but when she did , something in her eyes changed and for a split second she had a look of remorse but it disappeared faster than it appeared.

She turned towards me and without another thought she raised her hand and slapped me. My head snapped in the other direction and my jaw dropped .

My cheek stung and my eyes watered , huffing I sat back in my chair and my mother quickly turned in her seat facing the windshield , she let out a quiet whimper before covering it with a plastic smile. turning back to me she stuck her hand out.

"You're acting like a real brat right now , So looks like I'm going to have to treat you like one . Pass me your phone!"

I scoffed and rolled my eyes folding my hands over my chest , the obvious red mark and stinging pain didn't go away and I don't think it would for a little while.

"I dropped it when we were at the house"

I said patting myself down just to prove my point.

"Whatever ,You're not getting another one for a long time missy"

Wow she's actually sounding like a mother for once. I rolled my eyes again and waited until she turned back around before wiping my eyes and closing them and sinking back into the chair.

Jin entered the car not too long after , He had a couple things in his hands looking like water bottles and snacks. I could hear him shift in his chair turning towards me.

"You hungry Minjae?"

"She's still a little tired Jin , Just let her sleep for now"

Jin looked back at Minjae who had her arms wrapped around herself and for a couple seconds he watched as her shoulders shook as they rose and fell while she slept. She's crying?

He paid no mind to it and nodded turning the car back on and continuing to drive to one of the few 'BTS' safe houses , While Minjae sniffled silently to herself .

Wanting to pick up and leave with the wind until everything got better.