TW FOR ED
Oof My mum said we r going out for dinner tonight....
Um
I don't wanna
My stomach is sorta off because I maybe forced myself to.vomit yesterday and it's felt a little off since then but I can't say I did that so imma.just go and eat...
Maybe by then it'll be okay.its not too bad it just feels off.
Sure I'll be fine but ugh I'm stupid
I'm tryna not let it become an issue... but idk it might... I'm trying hard tho !! I'll be fine I guess.
But ughhh.
Idk just my heads sorta all over the place because life in general is 'okay'
Like there's no MAJOR drama or anything just. Couple of things. And alot of stuff rn is all in my head? It's all like being overly insecure or self hating about how I look or dysphoria or being anxious about something.
ALOT of it is just in my head.
But the urges to self induce vomiting is because of the insecurity about my weight etc.... It's the first time in a month or so I've done it PLUS I've had the urges for pretty much two weeks before I did it. So I held off pretty well right....?
I've told a couple of ppl bc I don't wanna close ppl off and hide it from ppl who will help and they're worried I'm gonna properly develop an eating disorder which scared me to death but I'm trying to not let that happen.
Anyway ramble over needed to try explain that all to myself lol.
This is p much my diary lol
Anyway bye I guess x
