Ok so at college I've got my in class friends. Like two ppl.
It was just cerys but Becky seems to have joined us sometimes.now and that's okay bc she's super nice.
And u no how much I love my friends in the other class? Lydia and aliyah etc.
But I'm starting to think if there group actually like me or not.....
Lydia I think does.
Aliyah I wanna say does. Bc she always screams when she sees me then hugs me? But. She tends to ignore me after that. And we hadn't seen eachother for 3 weeks until today ok? And she didn't like even wanna chat or catch up ? It was. Scream. Hug. Ignore.
Cj always says hi and Dan is nice to me so I guess they like me.but I'm.not like a valuable member of their friendship group bc I'm.not around all the time and miss out on alot of group stuff.
Like if I gave up and stopped talking to them only Lydia would really genuinely care. I think. She sorta ignored me at lunch but I was being quiet and I think she's learned if I'm.quiet just let me be for abit, I'll be ok.
But like. I still wanna be included? Oof.
Anyway there's Kian. Who's in more than Lydia. I only know him bc of Lydia. And tbh most ppl in the friendship group don't like him...
But I sorta click with him More than.i do Lydia and anyone else?
Like I feel 10000X more myself talking to him.
I actually didn't shut up today with him on the bus. I was quiet all day and as soon as it was just us I relaxes and just rambled about crap. And started overly using my hands when talking.
That's me. If I'm 100000% comfortable around you, I don't shut up. I'm very expressive with my hands and body language and I talk kinda fast.
If I do that ur lucky.
Im like that with my best friends (WHO IM GOING CINEMA AND TOWN WITH ON MONDAY AAAH IM SO EXCITED)
And like ppl I've known for ages.
So its weird I'm like that with him and not with someone who I class as a best friend. Like with Lydia I'm still nervous. I still have to think over what I'm saying b4 I say it. Texting her I'm fine but in person I go shy... Oof
BUT it is a v large group of ppl
Aliyah
Lydia
Kian
Dan
Ellis
Cj
Girl they all hate
Other girl that seems nice
Travis
Callum (who does my head in)
Like sometimes it's not that many but to me that's alot.
I'm used to my two-three friends and that's it.
But OOF it's alot and I get rlly nervous and quiet and shyyy lolsss.
ANYWAY
Idk who in the group actually likes me or if I'm just Lydia's tag along everyone secretly doesn't like bc I'm too quiet? Lols
ALSO I've sorta recently noticed Aliyah is pretty fake. Ngl. She's sorta a fake bitch. Love her to pieces but will I talk to her after I leave college? Probably not.
Lydia is actually the nicer more genuine out of them and its weird bc at first aliyah was the sweetest girl ever.
Oh well Lydia is cool. Kian I seem to be overly comfortable around.
And everyone else might hate me.
Sorry about this lol i needed to ramble
Byeee x
