Connections | ✔️

Forty four

Carter's P.O.V

I stood underneath the shower letting the water drip and roll down my skin, hoping it'll wash away every single unpleasant, gut wrenching emotion.

So many memories.

We've known each other for about three and a half months, almost four. Maybe we fell too quick? Who knew that we'd fall apart just as quickly?

What we had...was incomparable though. I honestly thought that she could be the one. I'm still confused over everything that happened. One minute we were so incredibly happy, and the next? Completely miserable. In the back of my mind, I just wasn't accepting it. I refused to. The love we shared was nothing I'd ever felt before. Something this damn good couldn't just crumble away like that.

I wanted to do something about it... but I just couldn't figure out how, I guess. Besides, she didn't want anything to do with me. So I left it.

She didn't pick up.

She ran.

She's gone.

It wrecked me.

~

"Hey Carter, let's relax tonight okay," Xavier smiled softly as he pulled up to my apartment. God. I must have been pretty shitty lately if Xav was bringing out his sweet, caring side. I let him take me to Kean and Alec's so we could have a boys night.

I strolled in to the rec room, as my nose was assaulted by an eclectic mix of scents. They had ordered a lot of food. Sweet and sour pork. Honey sesame chicken. Egg rolls. Fried rice. Stir fry noodles. Prawn crackers. I mean? Okay, I can get behind this.

A cheat night it is then.

"Look Carter, all I'm gonna say is that you're both going through shit but I'm rooting for you." Kean pat me on the back. "Now let's not talk about girls tonight and get lit."

I thanked him as we continued the mad dinner feed, bantering loudly as the boys tried to cheer me up. It was nice to have a fun distraction.

Uh oh, now we were cracking out the drinks. I wasn't feeling the alcohol, but one drink turned into two, then three, then all of a sudden we were blasting music and dancing like hooligans atop of the pool table in sombrero hats. I cracked a laugh at the sight. Where did those even come from?

"One shot if you've ever been screwed over." Alec said solemnly. We all downed the drink hastily, wincing at the bitter taste. Pretty much relatable to anyone who lives in this zip code.

"One shot if you've ever been in love." I added, tipping back the shot, and another for good measure.

Fuck I'm so gone.

There were tiny little trolls stomping all over my sad little heart.

"One shot if you've ever loved someone who doesn't love you back." Xavier said quietly, throwing back his drink as we sat there silently. Damn. My vision blurred. Was it tears or the alcohol?

"One shot cause I love you boys." Kean added, causing us to nod together in solidarity as we all downed another drink.

"Fuck enough of this. Let's party." Alec got up, pushing against the ground with a stagger.

Oh thank god, I was legitimately going to start crying.

"Yeehaw!" Xavier shot up excitedly, holding onto his hat.

"Man you're not a cowboy, that's the wrong hat," I said laughing and stumbling as I tried to get myself in an upright position. I was pretty delirious at this stage.

"GUYSSSS. Wanna hear some of my new music?! I'm gonna have a listening party but we can have one here unofficially!" Alec shouted as he started hooking up his phone to the speaker.

"Yeahhhh dude!!" Kean slurred enthusiastically, lying back on the couch.

Oh man, I'm buzzed. I haven't been flat out drunk off my horse in so long. I'm not even sure what that saying means? Why would I be drunk off my horse? I shook my head. I'm drunk that's for sure.

"Wowwwww Alec!!! Dude that one was awesome!" Xavier clapped excitedly. He looked like he was about to fall over.

"Yeah that's a bop!" I nodded to the tune.

"Thanks guys," Alec grinned proudly. Damn Alec was so cool. I wondered what it would be like to be so chill all the time. Life would be swell.

"Play another!" Kean shouted.

A familiar tune rang out making my blood run cold, before it quickly changed over. It was the song I picked for Valerie. Back when we were on top of the fucking moon. Or world? Is that the saying?

Valerie.

Her name was so cool. It was so unique and mystical and magical like a unicorn. Just like her. A unicorn amongst us peasants.

I miss her so much. What the fuck even are we? It sounded a lot like she had broken up with me but it wasn't for certain. I didn't even want to entertain that idea. I could shed some real ass h2o from my eyeballs at the thought. No fucking way. Not if I had a say in the matter.

Fuck I was kinda so mean to her. She was freaking crying right in front of me and I started raising my voice because I was frustrated at the whole situation- not her! ARGHH!!! I hated seeing her cry. More so, I hated that I wasn't there for her.

Then I let her walk out.

Fuck.

I missed seeing her pretty face. I missed seeing her smile and hearing her laugh. I missed feeling her soft kisses.

That's it!

I gotta go. Mannnn I have got to go.

"Guysssss I'm gonna call it a night okay?? Thanks for being some real onez," I said, as I began the search for my wallet and phone amongst the containers of takeout.

Your boy's gotta get an Uber.

"Okay dude, make yourself comfortable, stay anywhere upstairs!" Alec said.

"Oh nah it's okay, I think I need to have some quiet time."

"You gonna be alright?" Kean piped up from hanging upside down in a handstand off the couch. Well that can't be comfortable.

"Yep just ordering a lift now." I said squinting at my phone to type in an address. "Purrrfect. They'll be here in a few."

Oh god did I just purrfect? That was a terrible pun. I hope I don't remember that ever again, I shuddered.

"Stay safe amigo!" Xavier came over to hug me. I returned the embrace with a pat on the back. Aw he's like a little brother. Does that mean he should call me hermano? Maybe I'm gonna start telling him to. That has a nice ring to it.

"Bye!!" I called out to everyone with one last salute before skipping my way to the front. This house is so darn big.

I hopped into the cab excitedly so I could finally head off. I'm not entirely sure what my game plan is going to be, but I didn't give a fuck right now to be honest. There was only one thing on my mind that was fuelling me.

I thanked my driver and rated him 5-Stars as I got out of the car at my destination. "Thanks so much man. Fall in love with girls named Valerie by the way, they're fucking awesome." I grinned, waving goodbye.

"Uh okay dude, have a good night," he chuckled awkwardly before driving off. He better give me 5-Stars too. I just gave him some tip top advice!

I stumbled up the staircase before making my way round to the right number...