BatBoys x Reader One Shots

Sad Thoughts (BatFamilyxReader)

WARNING
SUICIDAL THOUGHTS
DEPRESSION

In this one shot, you are the youngest at 16 y/o.

The rain pounding against my hood was all I could hear. I was shivering, my lips felt numb and my teeth hurt from all the chattering. I don't care though. As I turn the corner a chill flows up my spine. I know I'm being followed but I have lost all interest in life, so I really could not care less. The crisp air of Gotham stung my lungs. Suddenly I'm pushed aggressively into an alleyway. I turn towards my attacker with a bored expression.

"Give me all your money or I'll shoot." He shouts at me. I look up at him, he looks scared, as if this is his first time. I am completely unfazed by his taunts. His gun is hovering in front of my face with shaky hands. I lean forwards, pressing my forehead against the barrel of the gun.

"Go for it." I tell him. He looks shocked. I close my eyes and wait impatiently for him to pull the trigger.

"Y..you're supposed t..to...." He trails off. I roll my eyes.

"I said go for it! Do it!" I say, louder than before. His hands shake violently and he presses a hand against his ear, pulling his shoulder up to cover the other one. His movements caused the gun to aim downwards and when he pulled the trigger a bullet ripped through my stomach. I winced, but as I fell I smiled.

"T..thank you." I choked out. I could feel warm blood rising in my throat. The man started running away as I lay unmoving in the alleyway. I drift slowly off into the darkness, the void consuming my every thought. Finally, I am at peace.

-

The soft blaring of my alarm clock woke me up. I frowned, it had only been a dream. The giant bed I was in felt extremely lonely, and empty. The dark room made me feel at peace. I always got up before anyone else, it gave me time to think alone in the darkness. I'm 16 years old, and I want to die. There's so many things wrong in my life. But, I know how selfish committing suicide is, I know how it would affect Bruce, Alfred, and the boys. Sighing lightly, I drag my feet across the bed until they meet the cool floor. I stand up and make my way across the room, through the darkness, and into my joined bathroom. I flick the lights on, the fluorescent bulbs momentarily blinding me. Slowly, I undress and start my shower. The hot water cascades down my body, it starts to relax me. As I wash my hair and body my mind starts to drift.

FLASHBACK

"I'm used to it.
I'm used to people leaving.
I'm used to being all alone.
I'm used to having no one.
So just go, leave.
I'm used to it anyway." I spit angrily at Dick. I didn't want him to know how much I was hurting, but I still called for help.

"Y/N, what makes you feel this way?" Dick asks concerned, he crouched down to my level while I say curled up on the couch. I shake my head.

"Don't worry about it, do your stupid mission, see if I care." I say, venomously. Dick frowns. He was going on a risky mission, I didn't want him to go, he had a 12% chance of survival.

"I love you, Y/N." He said sincerely. At this point I couldn't stop the tears anymore. I sprang up from the couch and wrapped both my arms and my legs around him.

"I love you too, please don't leave.." I whispered. I knew he had to, I knew he was going to, but I wanted him to tell me he wasn't.

"Okay, N/N, I'll wait right here with you while you fall asleep." He told me, Dick laid down on the couch and I cuddled against him, he stroked my hair, soothing my mind. I almost didn't feel it when he left as he placed a kiss on my forehead.

"I'll come back N/N, I promise I will."

FLASHBACK END

I didn't notice the tears that had formed in my eyes. Dick hasn't been back in three weeks. There's so much wrong here and without him, it's even worse. The other boys tried to cheer me up but it never worked. I turned the faucet off and stepped out of my shower. I dried off and slipped my clothes on. I wore a black sports bra with plain matching underwear and over those I pulled on a hoodie and sweatpants. The smell of freshly washed clothes eased my mind. I'd have to thank Alfred later. I brushed my hair out and looked in the mirror. My eyes were red with dark circles around them. I had gotten skinnier. My hair was much longer since the last time I looked at myself. I pulled my
H/C locks into a messy bun and exited my room. It was brighter out now, the sun had started to come up. I smell fresh baked waffles as I make my way down the stairs, bringing a half smile to my face. As I walked into the kitchen I was surprised to see everyone was already awake, did I really spend that long in the shower? The first person to greet me was Jason, he gave me a smile and wave. I waved back, but it felt as if my lips were too heavy to form a smile, so they just parted slightly as if I was going to say something. I shut them and he frowns a bit. Damian and Tim were bickering over something as I entered. I didn't like getting in the way of their arguments because last time they both started yelling at me as if I had started their problem. I probably did.

"Good morning N/N, I like your hair" Bruce said as he walked in, making himself a coffee.

"Thanks Bruce." I said quietly. Damian and Tim stopped fighting and finally acknowledged my presence.

"Hey Y/N!" Tim greeted. Damian said nothing, but walked over and gave me a hug. I was surprised at first but slowly sank into it.

"I love you Y/N, and I want you to know that." He said, super out of character.

"I love you too but why are you telling me this now?" I questioned.

"I thought you needed to hear it." He told me. Jason got up after Damian sat back down and took me to the living room with a plate of waffles. We sat on the couch and watch Disney movies until Jason fell asleep. Then, Tim took me out on patrol (which I love doing) and we fought side by side. I felt much happier than before, spending time with my brothers made my day a whole lot brighter. The only one missing was Dick.

"Goodnight, Y/N." everyone said to me as I shut my door to my room.

"Goodnight, love you." I said back. I climbed into bed, satisfied with my day. But there was still one thing missing. I thought about it as I slowly dozed off.

-

I woke up to my door opening. I looked across the room and my heart skipped a beat.

"Dick!" I called out. I ran to him and engulfed him in a hug.

"I told you id be back N/N!" He said as he hugged me. I snuggled into him and he carried me back to bed. I fell asleep next to him.

Maybe I'm broken, but I have a family who loves me, and I have a family who will help put me back together piece by piece.