Fangs and Other Fairy Tales (A Camren Fanfic)

Chapter 78

Trigger warnings for mention of suicide/depression/PTSD and Dissasociative Identity Disorder!

Camila's POV 

Well shit, in less than 24 hours i'm finally going to be an Alpha, it only took over half a century for it to finally happen. I mean, we all know i never expected to be an Alpha but once Ariana passed away i figured i'd inherit her abilities a lot sooner than this, and a lot less painfully. Keana's really been kicking my ass these past few days, last night was a good break though, the only thing that could have made it better was if Lauren was in Keana's place. Don't get me wrong, i'm still pissed at her, although as each day passes i'm less sure on why that is exactly. Was it because she accused me of being suicidal? Because she yelled at me for trying to save her? Or because she didn't appreciate the sacrifice i was willing to make to end all of this once and for all? That's all i wanted, my intentions were pure, i thought i could bring down Dedrick, i was sure of it. 

'Lauren doesn't know what the hell she's talking about!' I yelled aloud simultaneously alerting the other presence in the house. 

'Lauren doesn't know what?' Keana asked as she exited her bedroom and approached the kitchen table where i was seated. 

'It's nothing, forget i even mentioned it' i huffed with my arms folded and brow creased in thought. 

'Mention it? You practically screamed it to the world' she laughed and pulled up a chair. 'C'mon Cabello, i've seen you naked, there are no more secrets between us'

'Well when you put it that way' i paused rolling my eyes dramatically. 'Lauren accused me of being suicidal for chasing after Dedrick on my own'

'That's what's bugging you?' she said dejectedly and stood up to pour herself a cup of coffee. 'I figured you knew that already'

'Knew what?' i perplexed and waited for her to face me once more. If she says what she's about to say then we're gonna have another fight right here and now but for real this time. 

'That you're suicidal, or at the very least before you get all hot and bothered on me, you have suicidal hero tendencies. Over the past two days you've done nothing but demonstrate how little value you have for your own life, and your history only strengthens that' she explained as a seething anger filled my veins and forced me up onto my feet, hundreds of words fought to escape my mouth and defend me from her accusation, but none of them defined what i really felt. Each one sounded more and more like an excuse instead of a justification and that only stood to anger me ten fold. 

I slammed both of my clawed fists down onto the marble surface leaving two small round indentations in their wake. 

'I am not suicidal' i growled lowly, masking the fangs and bottled rage that begged to escape me. 

'Camila it's perfectly normal for someone like you, who's seen the things you have, and lived through all the trauma you were forced to endure, only to overcome it all and find that you've still got a ways to go. Life is hard Camila, it's okay to think about checking out sometimes so long as you keep-'

'Shut. Up' 

'Excuse me?' she scoffed and placed her half empty mug on the counter. 

'I said, shut up!' i said sternly, eyes transfixed on the table in front of me to keep control. I haven't felt anger like this since the day Ariana died, i may have lost her but i will not lose this, i won't lose myself. I'm not that person, i know who i am. I'm Camila freakin Cabello, and i protect the people i love whatever the cost, that doesn't make me suicidal. It doesn't. Not if i'm sure i can win.