rosèbury café » vmin[✔]

thirty three . one

The first thing I noticed was the pounding ache in my head as if I had been drunk. The next thing I noticed was the softness against my skin. My eyes opened slowly, I knew they must be red from all the crying I did earlier. Lifting myself up in a sitting position I noticed a glass of water and a pill bottle next to the bedside. Without even thinking I opened the bottle and spilled some pills into my palm. It wasn't enough to do anything but maybe I'd feel high for a bit. I lifted them to my lips to pop them all in at once but before I could someone took hold of my wrist.

The touch was gentle against my bruised body, my eyes met a warm pair of brown ones, the same ones I've seen so many times. They were red rimmed indicating he must have been crying too. A deep frown was etched on his face as he examined my actions. Shaking his head he held my palm and dropped them all back in the bottle leaving me two to take. 

With a heavy I took them and drank the water all in one.

"Tae..." Jungkook started sitting on the edge of the bed beside me but I stopped him from saying anything. He looked at me pleadingly but I didn't care to listen to what he had to say. Removing the covers from my body I got up from the bed, slightly tumbling over my feet. Jungkook outstretched his hands to help steady me but I pushed him away.

"Hyung please, you need your rest." For some reasons his words triggered something in me and a wave of anger erupted.

"No Jungkook, what I need is to stay away from you!" My words cut deep, I could see it in his eyes the way that seemed to shatter and he stood frozen.

"Hyung..." A chuckled escaped my lips. Carefully I padded towards him until we were inches apart staring into each others broken souls.

"You know as my best friend, the least you couldn't have done was told me the truth." I had been cried out but being in front of him, in front of someone who had taken me off the streets, someone who I had cherished like a brother, someone who let this happen to me, being in front of him raw and in pain, it was too much. 

"Y-You wouldn't have listened to me, you were falling for him too quickly..." A chuckled escaped my chapped lips. I stabbed a finger in his chest.

"That's where you're wrong Kookie, you underestimated our friendship. If you had told me, I would have listened. I may have still pursued him but atleast I'd have been more cautious instead of being love blind for someone who isn't who I thought he was." The tears pricked at my eyes once more but I refused to let them fall. The air between us was tense. I could tell Jungkook was thinking hard on what I said. 

"You loved him first, you still love him, that's all you had to say and none of this would have happened...I wouldn't have wasted something so precious to me on someone like him." 

He broke. Jungkook's chin trembled, sharp exhales leaving his lips as he wrapped his arms around my neck, buried his face into my neck and cried. I could feel the wetness in against my skin but I made no attempt to wrap my arms around him. I couldn't give him the satisfaction of our friendship anymore, I couldn't forgive him for doing this to me.

He cried and cried and cried until all that came out were choked sobs. I let him. 

The room became silent, Jungkook clinging to me as he layed his head on my shoulder. 

With a heavy heart but a made up mind I grasped his arms carefully and removed them from me. He fisted his hands in my shirt not willing to let me go, but he had to, just as I had decided to let him go.

I looked at him long and hard, carefully bringing a hand up to wipe his tears with my thumb and tuck a strand of his hair back in place. 

He had been my savior, but he had been the reason for my destruction, and I couldn't continue to stay with him knowing what had happened, knowing none of this had to happen if he had trusted me, trusted us. 

"Goodbye Kookie." He shook his head at my words clinging onto me furthar more but I forced him back. As a final farewell I leaned forward to place my lips against his forehead.

"Take care of Jihye and appa for me." His hand was clasped in mine holding on tight. I walked backwards his hand held in mine until finally we were too far away from each other to hold on any longer. I turned, a tear escaping my eye, I couldn't let him see me like this. 

It was over, everything was over, there was nothing left for me here. With purposeful steps I walked out of the room, not knowing where I was going but knowing I couldn't stay.

Jungkook watched me leave, his heart completely shattered at losing his best friend. He fell to his knees in agony, his screams of self-hate ringing around the house. 

It was over, the healing could begin.

  ••• 

a/n: the end :)