If I Could

{20} - Congratulations, Belle

"I can't believe we are really about to do this", Brian told his best friend as he handed her three pregnancy tests, waiting right outside of his room's bathroom. "How could you have taken a risk so big?".

"I could be asking you the same question, Brian".

Belle kneeled down and used the pregnancy test, waiting for the result to appear on the screen.

Positive.

Belle couldn't believe her own eyes, and immediately started crying, covering her mouth with her hand. If she indeed was pregnant, she felt horrible for thinking this about her own child; but part of her was hoping that the first test was wrong. She used the other two — all three of them ended up plastered with two lines. Brian let out a deep sigh, not knowing what to do, he only watched her, praying that Belle would not have a time as hard as he did when it came to announcing the news.

"Belle..", he said with shaking voice. "Are you ready to tell Rami?".

"No", she denied, still crying, flushing the toilet and proceeding to wash her hands. "I can't tell him yet. I need.. I need to take a blood pregnancy test only to make sure".

"Belle, are you okay?", Beatrice asked, holding her sleeping daughter in her arms. "Are you really pregnant?".

"She is", Brian affirmed. "Or at least that's what the pregnancy test says. But she wants to take a blood test to be 100% sure".

Beatrice placed her daughter in her crib, proceeding to hand Belle tissue so she could wipe her tears.

"Don't cry, sweet girl. I know you feel somewhat distressed — I did too — but when you hold your baby in your arms...", she sighed and looked at her daughter. "It's the best feeling in the world. Don't be sad. You'll experience true happiness".

"Th — Thanks, Bea".

"And well... I know Rami isn't the kindest person ever, but I hope fatherhood changes him and will support you the way Brian supports me. That's actually everything that matters".

Belle nodded, she wished Beatrice's words could be true. But she knew very well it was wishful thinking - Rami wasn't Brian, he wasn't half as warm and kind as her best friend was. She heard Beatrice telling her to calm down and offered her something to drink — and Belle kept saying yes to everything she and Brian were saying, but her mind was in a whole different place. She felt immense preoccupation and despair, not being able to think clearly at all.

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Belle sighed, taking her keys out to open Rami's apartment and well, she never knew a simple ordinary activity could make her soul ache so much, secretly praying that she would not find him calling one of his admirers.

But he wasn't, he was watching TV.

"Oh, you finally came back", he said, sounding very annoyed.

"And? Do you really worry about where I am?".

"What the hell is your problem?", he raised his voice. "Why are you always expecting the worst of me?".

"Well, let me explain it to you", she exclaimed. "Imagine that you really like someone and you are dating that person. But suddenly, you find out that the person is cheating on you, and on top of that, she doesn't even try to hide all of the evidence", she lashed out. "Do you think you could still trust that person?".

"You're out of your mind, Belle. I've never cheated on you. But if I did, well, I think you'd understand why".

Belle grimaced at Rami, and she started to cry. For so many reasons: for his words, for his attitude, and because she was possibly pregnant.