If I Could

{78} - Love Me like There's no Tomorrow

Roger and Belle stared at each other for a few seconds before saying a word.

Roger should have refused her, should have slammed the door on her face.

But he didn't.

"Belle!", Roger's daughter, Victoria, exclaimed with a broad smile. "You're here!".

"Hi, Victoria," Belle waved with affection at her soon-to-be stepdaughter before her nanny took the toddler away for dinner.

Belle was standing by his door with a package of Roger's favourite tea at hand. A massive, heavy, terrible sense of guiltiness hit Belle, flopping down on top of her and immediately wrapping all its limbs around her. Roger looked completely weak. He was paler than usual, wearing a pair of plain, light-wash pants with white canvas sneakers, his eyes were red and his hair was a mess. Eeverything about him looked troubled and Belle knew it was her fault. It ripped her heart to shreds.

And Belle was right, Roger was completely broken.

But not anymore.

"Belle, oh my God, you came back," Roger spoke in a voice full of incredulity but full of love at the same time, giving her a faint smile as his eyes shined three times brighter than the Sun. He felt like he was hovering a few feet above the ground, too high off of the moment to fully register anything. Belle looked incredible. She wasn't wearing her strange sweaters and that was good. Roger wondered if Belle had been through what he had. If her eyes had become swollen and if she spent her nights crying over him, crying at how much she missed him.

"Of course I did," Belle cooed, so ready for the worst: ready to be rejected, ready to be humilliated, because that's what she believed she deserved after all. "We're getting.. we're getting married, remember?", Belle chuckled nervously as she slightly tilted her head to her left side. She absently registered a sense of warmth enveloping her cheeks, and they felt wet. Since when had she started crying?

"Why are you crying, Belle?" Roger rose to his feet, walking toward Belle and carefully placing a hand on her cheek, he was visibly worried.

"I'm sorry, Roger," Belle apologised between sobs, her heartbreat increasing, she was crying so hard that she found it embarrassing. "I should have told you where I was."

"No, don't cry, Belle, it's all right," Roger gave her a faint smile. He found it easy to smile at her, just like it always was with this one person. "Where were you? And where's Alice?".

"I was in Brighton, with John," Belle answered with her eyes fixated on the floor, unable to look at Roger in the eyes. "Alice is with Rami."

"Have you seen Ben?", Roger asked an Earth-shattering question.

"No, he just dropped me off at John's Brighton home and left." Sometimes you have to lie for the sake of your peace of mind.

"Do your parents know you're here?".

"Yeah, both my parents know. They were angry at first, especially my Dad, but I apologised for my words and actions we talked it through and we're in good terms now. Mailen and Joseph know I'm back too," Belle sounded calmer now, her eyes still red from crying so hard.

"That's great. I'm glad you came back. Friday is almost here, you will become my wife and I will become your husband. Everything's going to be perfect, my love. You've got nothing to be worried about," Roger's hands reached to cup Belle's face, thumbs smoothing out along her red cheek. His voice was so sweet and so full of endearment that it made Belle hate herself because she felt so unworthy of such a charming man like Roger.

"But the fact that I came back doesn't make it right that I left you for so many days without knowing where I was," Belle almost broke in tears again. "I shouldn't be forgiven, Roger."