If I Could

{41} - Love Kills

I'm so sorry guys, this chapter is so sad. I cried when I wrote this :(

Belle Bulsara was a very elegant and poised woman and Adam Lambert could see that as she walked to what was his office for one day. Her graceful presence was big, filling the room with an unprecedented scent of exquisiteness, but her disquietude was bigger. Her eyes uncomfortably wandered around the room, and she could barely breathe. In her eyes, she saw Roger's office. In her heart, she saw the same thing, but she can also see a slightly younger version of herself sitting in one of the chairs situated in front of the desk as she talks to Roger about some blessed interview about mental health. The girl in her imagination is set to meet with the person who will ruin her relationship with Roger Taylor in two days, Daisy Newton, she will have dinner with her at a high-end restaurant and she will meet with the father of her daughter for the first time there as well. The whole reunion with Roger seemed to shine so bright back then, she couldn't help but frown in displeasure when she thought about the way it all ended. So catastrophically ugly. Except for her daughter. Maybe the whole purpose of it all was to conceive and give birth to her. And she did not regret having her, she could never, her daughter was her whole life and Belle sometimes felt as if she had only came to this world to be Alice's mother, but perhaps the events leading to meeting her father could have been more pleasant.

And as a whole revolution was taking place inside Belle's mind, Adam just thought that her silence was concerning. But he didn't ask about that, he just waited for whatever she had to say.

"Good afternoon", Belle politely greeted him with a fake smile, and it's not that she was uncomfortable around Adam, it's just that she was being haunted by old events. "Uhm, I don't want to take up too much of your time, so I'll be straightforward. I'd like to know where Roger Taylor is. We happened to meet yesterday at a dinner and Rami beat him after he saw him talking to me. I know you might think I'm giving you too much information, but I'm telling you this so you can know this is a major problem I'm having and I need to see how he's doing today and I need to apologise", Belle explained, thinking that maybe Adam felt like he did not need to know all of the private details. But what she didn't know was that Adam and Roger were actually really close.

He smiled in a placating manner.

"Don't worry, I'm aware of what happened yesterday and that's the reason why he isn't here today. He's staying at the Taylor International Hotel. Very hurt. But I still believe he'll be glad to see you. Thank you for thinking of my boss", he blinked owlishly, transferring his weight from one foot to another.

Belle giggled because she felt stupid for not even thinking about the possibility of Roger staying at his own hotel. She was trying not to have a change of heart, because now that she knew where Roger was, there was no excuse for her not to see him today. But she could not stop debating with herself about the idea of visiting him - half of her begged herself not to do it, half of her begged herself to do it.

"Wow, who could have guessed", she said with redundancy. "And.. are you sure he'll be glad to see me?", she asked with a slightly concerned look on her face, grasping onto the handle of her purse.

"Of course", he responded. "I wouldn't be wondering that if I were you".

She smiled.

"Well, thank you for trusting me. I hate that we can only manage to have a small conversation, but I understand that this is not a place to be chatting. But thank you, again", she said with gratitude.

"Anytime. I hope we can have an actual conversation the next time we see each other".

Belle nodded and waved goodbye.

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Today, Roger Meddows Taylor wished he could have woken up cuddled into Gabrielle Bulsara's chest more than anything, and trace his fingers along her face. He tried to stand up, and he winced, because, well, his whole body hurt. He covered himself with a sprawled blanket, applying arnica over his black eye to treat the bruise. He wasn't sure if that actually worked, but it was worth trying.