If I Could

{63} - Save Me

I'm still not over the BoRhap premiere! Everyone looked so good and it was such a dream, just seeing all the people close to Freddie and the actors in the same place was so amazing! Cannot wait to watch the film in an exact week! And If you have already seen it, I hope you enjoyed it! I also want to thank everyone for 9,000+ reads, and say hi to our new readers! Lately this story has been added to so many new reading lists, thank you guys!

Gwilym Lee's most painful thoughts involve a lot of red.

And Gwilym Lee doesn't know where to start.

Perhaps he should start from the beginning.

Five years ago, he met Michelle met a bus stop.

It was in mid-July, humidity and rain making Michelle regret going to the furthest pharmacy to get some of the allergy medicine her mother needed but had been out of stock in the pharmacy closest to her home. She wanted to wait, but her mother needed them badly. Hell, how does a pharmacy run out of medication?

Michelle had left her umbrella at home, telling herself despite the looming dark clouds that she wouldn't need it. In reality, she just didn't want to haul it around. So, she stood at the bus stop, wet and annoyed. But hey, at least she got what she wanted.

Gwilym, he had waited thirty minutes for the bus, watching cars go by in a daze, daydreaming and feeling his body relax. His headphones blasted music in his ears, loud and unrelenting. Gwilym had been so into his own head that he had not noticed the body that joined him on the mental bench until a tap was felt on his shoulder.

He turned, eyes falling on a girl with a beautiful face. Said girl was staring at her with a gentle smile, hair dripping with rain. Hell, she was really beautiful.

"Do you know what time the bus comes?", the stranger asked, voice pleasant. It sounded the way chocolate tastes — sweet and thick, addicting. She had said eight words and Gwilym was already wanting more to spill from her lips.

"Um," Gwilym checked his watch. 3:50 p.m. "Soon, I hope," the man breathed out a laugh, soft and airy, and Michelle felt her stomach turn like the way it did every time she saw someone worth staring at.

"Have you been here long?", she asked again and a conversation started, going from waiting for the bus to introductions. When the bus finally arrived they sat together and the conversation never faltered. They talked about everything.

Gwilym got off first, the same soft smile on his face as he exchanged numbers with Michelle.

Gwilym assumed Belle didn't have time to hear all the details about how they got to know each other and how they started dating, so he skipped to the most important part, about the time when...

Michelle was pregnant.

"Wait, you got her pregnant right after you guys met?", Belle interrupted Gwilym's heartfelt narration, sounding surprised.

"No, this was a year after we met but.. aren't you the girl who got pregnant five months after dating Rami Malek?", Gwilym's question was meant to be a playful one so he was scared Belle would take it seriously.

Belle rolled her eyes and giggled. "Go on."

As already mentioned, Gwilym's most painful memories involve a lot of red.

When he talks about these memories, his memory hazes over in a way it's never hazed before — he can't remember the drive over to the hospital or the elevator ride up to the EPU wing, can't remember the name of Michelle's obstretician, all he can remember are the horrendous whimpers Michelle moaned as she felt the sharpest pain she had ever felt.

Just blood. A lot of blood.

"Wait, does this mean what I think it means?", Belle asked with tight lips and sad eyes.

"It does," Gwilym's eyes watered. "Michelle had a miscarriage.. not one, but three."

"What?", Belle flinched. "Three - three miscarriages?".

Gwilym nodded as he tried hard not to cry.

"Oh my God, Gwilym", Belle lowered her head. "I'm sorry. Damn, this story went from cheesily cute to horribly catastrophic real quick."

"There isn't a lot of story left. After confirming she was a barren woman, she changed a lot and she..," Gwilym looked away. "She started to push me away. She said she was jealous about how I was able to have children but she wasn't. She apologised — a year later — but I was too resentful towards her to forgive her. Not anymore though."

Belle briefly glanced out the window before an important thought came to her mind.

"But how does that relate to the fact that she slapped you?", she questioned.

Gwilym took a deep breath. "I called her out on the fact that she hasn't told Ben that she's infertile," Gwilym said, wondering why saying it out loud made him shake so much.

"What?", Belle covered her mouth with one palm as she blinked rapidly, struggling to find words to express her shock. "That's her husband, how come she hasn't told him?".

"I don't know, I just feel happy about the fact I'm not the only one who thinks that is absolutely reckless," Gwilym said, judging by Belle's reaction.

Belle let out a deep sigh.

"Look, Gwilym," Belle stood up as she tucked her hair behinds her ears. "As I already said, I don't want to be too judgemental because Michelle's position is incredibly unfortunate and I don't know what I'd been doing if I was in her place. However, the only thing I know for sure is that you need to find her and apologise because I know you love her dearly," Belle smiled softly. "I'll help you do it."

"Really?", Gwilym's eyes lightened up, as if he was already thinking ways to apologise to Michelle. "I know where she will be tomorrow night. She'll be at the ribbon-cutting ceremony of a new Pediatric centre," he mentioned.

"Then you should go," Belle suggested. "That will be a perfect opportunity to talk to her."

"It actually would be a great opportunity to talk to her if Ben wasn't scheduled to be there."

"Is he?".

"Not officially, but I mean, that's her husband. Why wouldn't he be there? The only reason why he isn't here tonight is because he's at a conference".

"Well, then I'll make sure he doesn't attend that wing opening."

"How so? Weren't you supposed to hate each other?".

"I don't know, I'll find a way to keep him entertained so he doesn't leave early," Belle shrugged.

Gwilym had no idea about how Belle would be able to distract Ben, but he was desperate to talk to Michelle again so he simply agreed.

"Thank you Belle. Your supports means a lot. Please do succeed in your attempt of keeping Ben busy. That would save me. Please save me."

"I will, Gwilym."

Since he had to have an early night, Gwilym left the venue right after that.

But not without looking at Michelle for one last time.

He saw her from afar, stopped for a moment to admire her dazzling beauty and thought to himself:

She would have made such a good mother.