𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘮𝘴𝘰𝘯 犬夜叉 ♡ ; 𝚗𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚔𝚞 𝚡 𝚘𝚌

tears

Entry 2 springtime

I had the same dreams again. I thought of my father and i thought of my mother. I can't make out her face i just hear her voice in the distance. I wonder how she was. Would she have been proud of me like papa? I miss him. So much

Today was the usual rice and fish, kind of overcooked if you ask me. I haven't really seen Naraku today but there's always that feeling that he's around despite the ongoing feeling that he's here but not here. He is... quite strange. I wonder what he does on an everyday basis besides watching me. Does he eat? I wonder what he likes to eat. Father said i make good cabbage and fish... maybe ill make it for him. But what does that matter, Naraku is so cold and he's so distant even if i were to present him with such a thing he would just look at it and go about his way.

Men.

I want to see the outside. Kagura keeps making poor excuses why we can't just see the sunlight and it's reflecting on my skin and i think my mind's health. I don't want to be this pale, i look sick. So sick. I want to feel the sun against my skin and feel alive.

It doesn't matter if i am a demon or not. I want to feel the sun.

I want Naraku to smile happily for once instead of that scowl.

Maybe if i take him to my usual spot to relax he would lighten up. But he is also so pale, I'm afraid he will crack apart if he is exposed too much.

Could you imagine a sight?

-

Mei sat in between Kagome and Sango as a scowling Inuyasha and a joyous Miroku sat on the opposite side of the fire. Her hair fell to the sides of her face as she looked down at her food of fish and rice. She really wasn't as hungry as she was fatigued but she couldn't be rude to decline a meal.

A meal without so much supervision. Even with Sango and Kagome sitting next to her they minded their own plates and just sat in silence munching away. They weren't peering over her shoulder. It felt... it felt...

"Mei? Why are you crying?" Kagome looked over at her with a motherly concern in her voice as she slowly wiped the tears off her cheek.

"H-huh?" Mei lifted her face up from her trance and touched the same cheek Kagome was caressing. When did she start crying? Were these feelings of joy? What possibly could have brought her to such tears?

It's when it dawned on her; she's been captured since the summer months. It's springtime. 6 months have gone by and she hasn't even stepped outside of the castle.

And she felt... free.

"Ah, hem," Mei cleared her throat to stifle her sobs. She wiped the remaining crystals off her cheeks and smiled faintly in Kagome's direction, tucking some hair behind her ear so she could see her better. "It's nothing. I must've gotten something in my eye and didn't feel it."

"Feh." Inuyasha rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest in an even tighter fold. Mei could sense his disdain of her and she tried her hardest not to not disclose just how much of a nuisance of a half demon he was since she was the guest.

"And for a second there I thought you missed the man who was inseminating you every night." He spat.

"Inu-Yasha!" Mei continued to look down at her food while Kagome stood to her feet in awe, her face saying "are you fucking serious!?" In clear display. Miroku and Sanyo just looked on, trying not to intervene.

"That is NOT how you speak to company! What gives you the right?" She nervously looked back at a silent Mei and stared knives at Inuyasha, her lips diving deeper to her chin as she frowned.

"What makes you think I should like her when she was obviously with Naraku? Mind you, the SAME Naraku who tricked Kikyo to kill me hundreds of years ago!"

"So is that what it is?" Kagome hugged her arm in pain, her face softening from anger to disappointment. "You think you're going to fall in love with her and she's gonna kill you too!?" Everyone's eyes widened at her statement, even Mei looked up bewildered with a piece of fish in her mouth mid-bite.

"Kagome... you know that's not what I mean." Inuyasha outstretched his hand to her, but she merely waved it off and walked away in a huff.

If Mei wasn't mistaken she heard sniffling the further away she got.

Inuyasha nervously looked at the others as they continued to eat their meal as in saying "that has nothing to do with us" before picking up the pace to follow behind her.

Swallowing her meal, Mei cleared her throat softly to signal Inuyasha attention. "Inuyasha." Her voice gained a bit of confidence for it was clean and crisp instead of soft and meek. Mid-stride, Inuyasha looked back at Mei with a firm line replacing the normal lips that were there on a regular basis.

"What do you want?" He wasn't really in the mood for interrogation or a speech. Not when he knows he's hurt Kagome's feelings of course.

"You come down on me like I am some monster," Mei stood to her feet, smoothing her hair down with gentle brush like strokes as she looked Inuyasha straight in the face, "but I believe the one who should feel insecure is you. I am a demon, and from what I can smell you are indeed more human than you want to let yourself off to be. So, before you go around talking about concubines and mistresses remember that halves shouldn't try to infiltrate the spot of a whole." Mei was fed up with his commentary about some fictitious undisclosed relationship he assumed her to have with Naraku. And who was Kikyo? She needed to make her point perfectly clear to the half-demon that she was not to be taken lightly.

Sango and Miroku stopped their eating, now eyes shifting between Mei and Inuyasha. What was going to happen next they wondered in silence?

Inuyasha stared at Mei, his golden eyes glinting a disgust that has never been seen among his peers. No one dared to bring up his insecurity but Mei stepped on it headfirst with no prisoners! He sized her up with a scowl and merely scoffed.

"Just don't get in my way, bitch." he mumbled to himself, running into the thicket of trees to catch Kagome.

Mei took a breath both of relief but of anxiety as well. She didn't have any weaponry and still pretty weak, what was she thinking!? But that pride in her spoke up and settled the score as far as verbal assaults go.

She needed to cool off.

With a long sigh, she fixed her hair over her shoulder and walked the opposite way without mention to Sango and Miroku.

She felt better off alone, or even, back at the castle.

-

Entry 7

I haven't seen Naraku in a few days; I'm wondering where he could have gone in such a long time. Not that i is fully concerned with the matter it is just that i would prefer to see a stoic face over a scowling one. I didn't ask for Kagura to watch over me, so why does she make me feel like such a nuisance.

I did nothing to her.

I still can't hate her.

I can't hate anyone, and i think that is where my downfall begins.

But father told me not to hate and so i won't.

I don't have anyone else to tell but... i dreamt about Naraku again. It was longer than before, and it felt so real.

Naraku has never really touched me, so i wouldn't be able to know how his skin feels but the way he held me in my dreams made it seem so... i have felt him for a lifetime.

Maybe I'm just confused. Or tired.

But the dreams still don't stop, this is just the one i remember this time.