Internet Friends | Dan Howell x Reader

Friends

WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN WITH PATRICK?! IT HURTS MY STOMACH TO WRITE THIS!

The cover up above is giving me life by the way! I love Sam.

Enjoy!

(y/n)'s POV

My feet pounded against the pavement, harder than before.

I can't believe I fell for him

My breath is short and heavy, my lungs begging me to stop.

He was just stringing me along

My head was pounding, built up pressure waiting to escape. I was not going to cry.

I'm an idiot

My muscles were screaming now, lungs on fire. I felt like I was slowly dying, my insides empty and broken.

How had I not seen it before.

It was only a silly little crush.

It's over now.

But something was just telling me it wasn't. How can someone make me feel so--

I can't even explain it.

My shoes slammed on the ground as I weaved through the throngs of people. Vibrations running through my entire body, an unexplained ache running through my heart to the palms of my hands.

I stopped suddenly, almost falling over from the sudden force.

I can't move. 

I'm stuck.

I can't breathe.

"(y/n)?"

Phil.

I really can't escape it can I?

I turned towards him, sweat dripping down my face mixing with the dried tears I had forced myself to stop.

"Are you okay?" He asked, a look of clear concern written on his face.

I can't speak.

Run.

Just go.

I can't move.

"(y/n), please talk to me." Phil said, grasping my arm. I froze and focused my gaze on Phil's shoes.

Don't look up.

Phil grasped my chin, forcing me to look at him. His blue eyes pierced into my wet and currently murky (e/c) ones. It's odd how eyes can convey one's feelings so easily.

Still unable to speak, I just looked at him in silence.

How has he done this to me?

How can a crush affect me like this?

Phil sighed pulling me along to my apartment a few feet ahead.

I don't really want to date Patrick.

But I have to if I want to move on.

He is just making it too difficult.

We walked in silence his hand gripping my arm tightly. How he knew I might run is beyond me. We made it inside and I sat down across from him. He sat, but said nothing. He didn't have to.

"Dan-n" I said, my lip quivering.

So this was happening.

I was going to cry about this.

I tried to swallow that lump in my throat and continued.

"I-I met a guy named Patrick a-and when I ran i-into Dan, he freaked out. I j-just want to move on." I said, my voice still shaky but I didn't cry.

Good.

"Move on from what?" Phil asked, looking at me.

"Dan." I said.

Phil's eyes widened and he squeezed his hands together.

"I had a small crush on him, nothing really, and Patrick was a way to move on. Then Dan flipped out and--"

And then it hit me.

"And--now I don't need to worry about it anymore." I said. The ache subsided but still picked at me. My head cleared and my voice steadied.

"You don't have to worry about it anymore?" Phil asked. He looked tired, sort of worn out, but still chipper. I was just pushing unnecessary drama on him.

"Nope. He obviously doesn't feel the same way as he demonstrated earlier and I am done now." I said.

Phil looked at me oddly. I probably seemed like I had a few screws loose.

"Sorry to bother you with my issues." I said, standing.

"What?" Phil asked.

"I'm fine. Sorry to confuse you." I said, laughing. 

"I have to shower now, I mean I ran pretty hard." I said.

Phil eventually left, extremely confused, but I can see perfectly clear.

I pulled out my phone and texted the 2 boys.

To Patrick:

Sorry to confuse you, but I just don't feel comfortable going out with you because I have some other things going on. I'm really sorry.

He responded quickly.

Whatever. It's cool. I would be lying if I said I didn't have things going on too.

Thank you for understanding

No problem. I don't want to stress you out, or me either for that matter.

To Dan:

Sorry

What? 

I am sorry for acting so rash earlier.

No, it was my fault

No, I realize you are trying to look out for a friend and I overreacted.

I guess, I went a little crazy too

It's both of us. Don't worry yourself.

I won't, you either

Deal.

I really like having you around. I was pretty devastated when I acted so badly and I thought I ruined us.

Yeah, it's good to have such a good friendship

Normal?

We are cool

Thanks

:D

I sighed and set the phone down. I know it might seem overkill, but I had to convince him I thought we were just friends until I could sort myself out.

Little did I know, I was trying to convince myself.

Ooo. Dramatic

~Calymari