imperfect fit ; an everlark au based off of 'the selection' series

s i x t e e n

When I wake the next morning, my eyelids feel heavy. As I rub the ache out of them, I feel glad I told Peeta everything. It seems to funny that the palace- this beautiful cage- is the only place I can actually let out what I have been feeling.

Peeta's promise settled in during the night, and I feel sure that I'll be safe here. This whole process of Peeta whittling down nineteen- or I guess eighteen- women to one is going to take weeks, maybe months. Time and space are all I need. I can't be sure that I'll get over Gale. Mom always said the first love is the one you can't get over. But maybe I'll feel normal sooner rather than later with this time in between us.

My maids don't question my puffy eyes, they just make them less swollen. They don't question my mess of hair, they just smooth it. And I appreciate that. It's not like at home, where everyone sees that I'm sad and does nothing about it. Here I can feel that they are all worried about me and whatever I'm going through. In response, they handle me with extreme care.

By midmorning, I'm ready to start the day. It's Saturday, so there's no routine or schedule, but it's the one day a week that we're all required to stay in the Women's Room. The palace sees guests on Saturday, and we have been warned that people might want to see us. I'm not to excited about it, but at least I get to wear my new jeans for the first time. Of course, they're the best fitting pair of jeans I've ever owned. I hope that since Peeta and I are on such terms, he'll let me keep them after I leave.

I go downstairs slowly, a little tired from a late night. Before I even get to the Women's Room, I hear the buzz of talking girls, and when I walk in, Clove grabs me and pulls me towards two chairs in the back of the room.

"There you are! I've been waiting for you," she says.

"Sorry, Clove. I had a long night and slept in."

She turns to look at me, probably noticing the leftover sadness in my voice, but sweetly decides to focus on my jeans. "Those look fantastic."

"I know. I've never felt anything like then" My voice lifts a bit. I decide to go back to my old rule: Gale isn't allowed here. I push him away and focus on my second favorite person in the palace. "Sorry to keep you waiting. What did you want to talk about?"

Clove hesitates. She bites her lip as we sit down. There is no one else around, she must have a secret.

"Actually, now that I think of it, maybe I shouldn't tell you. Sometimes I forget that we're competing against each other."

Oh. She has secrets of the Peeta variety. This I have to hear.

"I know how you feel, Clove. I think we can become really close friends. I can't bring myself to think of you as an enemy, you know?"

"Yeah. I think you're so sweet. And the people love you. I mean, you're probably going to win . . ." She seems a bit defeated at the idea. I have to will myself not to wince or laugh at those words.

"Clove, can I tell you a secret?" My voice is full of gentle truth. I hope she will believe my words.

"Of course, Katniss. Anything."

"I don't know who will win this whole thing. Really, it could be anyone in this room, but I already know that if it can't be me, I want it to be you. You seem generous and fair. I think you'd be a great princess. Honestly." It's almost the truth.

"You'd be great, too."

I bow my head. It's sweet of her to think so highly of me. I feel a bit uncomfortable when people talk about me that way, though. Mom, Prim, my maids . . . it's hard to believe how many people think I'd make a good princess. Am I the only one who sees how flawed I am? I'm unrefined. I don't have it in me to be bossy or overly organized. Well, I guess being bossy wouldn't be that hard . . . I'm selfish, have a horrible temper, and I don't like being in front of people. This is a job. Not just a marriage, but a position.