Love, Novela [Completed]

9/24/17

9/24/17, 11:42 p.m.

This morning we were heading out to visit Janitizio and some other places that I can't think of the names of right now. I hadn't slept very long or very well, but I woke of kind of early anyway, with that nagging subconscious feeling that something big had happened. It was kind of like Christmas morning when I was a kid, except bad. 

I was afraid to even leave my room for fear of seeing Alex and what my reaction would be. But I obviously couldn't stay in my hotel room in Morelia while the group left, so I decided to act like everything was normal.

We were supposed to get our bags to the bus first. So far so good. I got into the breakfast area and scanned the room for signs of Alex.  I didn't see him, so I got my food and sat down at a table with some of the other students in as out-of-the-way of a spot as I could find. It didn't work. Alex found me anyway. I hoped maybe if I pretended like nothing had happened, he would too, but as soon as I saw his face I realized that was not going to work. He started to come to the table, and I looked down at my plate to avoid any signals he might make to me. I waited for him to arrive, but he didn't. Eventually I glanced up and saw that Ruby had intercepted him. He was fidgeting but remained  in place while she talked to him.  When she finished, she turned around, clapped her hands and announced, "Everyone load up! We drive out in 5 minutes."

There was a stampede out of the breakfast area, and I did my best to stay right in the middle of the herd. It had seemed very clear that Alex had wanted to talk to me, but if I couldn't prevent that, at least I could stall it as long as possible.

I made sure to sit in the middle of the bus too. I'm sure I confused everyone, as I had previously made sure to sit as far out of the action as possible before. But at this point what people thought of me was pretty low on my priority list. My aim was to be inaccessible as long as possible in the vain hope of gathering my thoughts.

We got to Pátzcuaro and were instructed to board a boat. The group of girls I had sat with on the bus had freed themselves from my attachment to them, so I sat with a mixed group instead. I knew one of the guys in this group. I pretended to be interested in the conversation, in the landscape, to be, in general, fine.

But I kept replaying the events of last night and could not get my mind of Alex. Not just on what he had done, but what he was planning, what he was thinking. I found myself glancing in his direction constantly. I tried not to, but it just kept happening. He was sitting with Ruby. He kept looking in my direction as well, which resulted in our eyes meeting a couple of times, but I glanced away as quickly as possible and tried extra hard each time to focus on the group I was with and ignore Alex.

We got to Janitzio and were released on the island. It really is a very strange, beautiful place, and for a few glorious moments I actually did forget about the shambles my life was in. I walked along with the group as we wound around the island, slowly making our way up the top. I stopped to take a picture of some dogs sunning themselves on a rooftop, totally unaware of the panorama behind them. The group was heading on up ahead, and I was about to jog behind them to catch up, but Alex appeared. Dratted Alex, I had finally forgotten him for a few brief minutes and he took advantage.

He gently touched my elbow with my hand and I jerked it away involuntarily. I actually felt bad, because it was a ruder gesture than I would have made intentionally, but I realized I was just a bit jumpy around him, and specifically of his touch. But I finally looked at his face, and he was looking down, at the ground, a very un-Alex thing to do. He seemed to be struggling to say something, also, which was another un-Alex thing. Once again, my curiosity got the best of me, and I relaxed enough to hear him out. I continued to maintain my safe distance, however.