Love, Novela [Completed]

11/24/17 - 3

11/24/17, 2:42 p.m. 

I went to talk to Ruby after my second class. I came up with a pretext, but the real reason was feel her out. I wanted to see if she would tell me the truth if I prodded. I wanted to hear her defense. 

I came around to the point slowly. I told her I wanted to talk about what had happened in Mexico City. I was interested to see how much she knew. As far as I could tell, she was also interested to hear what I could tell her. So far this matched with what Alex had told.

I apologized for running off like that, with the end goal of trying to get on her good side. I was intentionally manipulating her, something I have never done to anyone, nor imagined I would do. I was shocked how easily it came to me.

It worked. At least partially. She expressed her satisfaction that I was OK. She still seemed to be sizing me up. So I decided to give her something more.

I told her I was attracted to Alex. Obviously this is not a lie. I have been deeply attracted to Alex or a very long time, and finally stopped lying to myself about it. I doubt it's even news to her, since she has been watching me for this very thing. The news to her is that I would tell her, which makes it seem like I am confiding her, which was my trick. Again, I never knew I was this conniving and it made me a bit uncomfortable. But I was determined to succeed in my ridiculous mission.

I told her that I liked him, but that I didn't want to intrude on anything, and that I had thought something was up between them. This was all at least mostly true. And it didn't reveal that Alex had told me anything.

At this point she did confess to having had a relationship with Alex. I felt more comfortable about the whole thing at this point. At least the truth was coming out, and we were all on the same page.

And then she dropped the bomb. "We were both married..."

It was hard to hear anything after that. Both married. He was married. He was married when he got together with her. Worse, he left that out of his narrative. He lied to me. He intentionally made her out to be the villainess in the story, and himself the victim, when that was so far from being the case. The real victim - his wife - he conveniently omitted.

I don't know who I can trust right now. I thought I could trust Alex, because he really does seem to care about me. But his intentions are probably less than honorable, and now I know he hasn't been truthful. I thought I couldn't trust Ruby, but I can't deny that her version of things makes sense. It coincides with his in the minutia, and includes a detail that he would benefit from denying. 

I have to see Alex in a little bit. I don't know what to think. I don't know what to say. I need to pray. It is so hard to pray right now. Lord help me...