I'm Pregnant? {1D FanFic}

Chapter 50

L ~Zayn's P.O.V~

I can feel my literal energy draining from my body as I sit in this hospital chair. I've been here everyday since Reign gave birth. I close my eyes shut tight trying not to think about it. There was so much blood my head felt woozy, but it everything shut down when her hand went limp in mine. I couldn't focus, function, or listen to anything the doctors said to me after that point, everything just went blank. My mind, my body, my soul.

She died right in front of me.

The flatline tone has been ringing in my ears for the past two weeks. I close my eyes and I'm brought back to the room, brought back to the place that I was helpless, where I had no power to save her. The place I watched her die. They pulled the baby from out of her and there was silence, deafening silence, the only thing heard moments later was the flatline. The long monotonous tone that has haunted my dreams for two long weeks. They told me that baby cried moments later but I didn't hear it, the only thing I could hear was the tone, calling her back but getting no response. All I remember is my eyes going blank watching her, and being escorted out of the room. I clasped my hands together as I sat up in the chair, and hung my head low. What do I do now? I have no hope whatsoever, and I have nothing fueling me.

"Hey..." I look up and see Steve walking up to me, and taking a seat next to me.

"Hey," I say back not meeting his eyes, holding my head in the same position it was in before.

"How are you holding up?" He asks placing a hand on my back and I shake it off.

"How do you think?" I say back looking over to him, my raspy voice sounding more threatening than I intended. He sighs sitting back against the chair and looking up at the hospital ceiling.

"John has been...inconsolable," I look to him again and his expression is blank, also mimicking mine. Steve and Mr.Summers were here in the hours following the birth of the baby. They said when they saw me my eyes were wide, and my face expressionless. They tried calling to me, asking me where the baby was, and where Reign was. They told me at the mention of her name, tears fell from my eyes, so being of no help to them they went to the front desk, they called the doctor who then told them...everything.

"He's devastated. The only thing keeping him going is the baby. He's the only one that baby has...besides you." My head snaps over to him, and he's standing up, and beginning to walk away.

The baby was born fine, healthy even a little over  the normal birthweight. I remember the world coming back into focus as they tried to hand the baby off to me, so I had a chance to hold the newborn, but I couldn't move. It felt like the world had slowed to a stop once I heard the ugly tone that was brought back from my memory. How was I supposed to raise the baby without her? For months, and months we talked about raising the child together. How could she go back on her word? How could she just leave me after everything? After all the bullshit that we conquered together. How could she not hold on, for me...for her baby? And how could I do this without her? That's just it.

I can't. There would be no way. I would never be able to give this child the life they deserve by myself.

"I can't." I say standing up saying to him, his back turned to me. "Tell Mr.Summers I'm so sorry but I can't," The words shakily fell from my mouth. As much as I didn't want to say it I knew it's what I had to do. I had to give the baby their best chance. " I don't have the strength to take care of the baby," My hands balled at my sides and my head hung low the tears started to flow freely from my eyes.

"Every time I'd see the baby I'd think of her, and I can't have that pain in my heart everyday. I couldn't take it. I can't bare the pain. I'm sorry to say this but I just can't-"  I feel a hard shove and seconds later I'm on my ass. I look up to meet Mr. Summers teary-eyed face.