I'm Pregnant? {1D FanFic}

Chapter 39

~Zayn's P.O.V~

What am I doing?

I ask myself this question as this random girl I met, probably less than thirty minutes ago, is laying underneath me half naked staring up at me. I lean down and kiss her lips gently like I would to-

I stop the thought. Just the mention of her name will make me stop, will make me go home sit on my bed and cry. Cry about how she left me. Cry about how I thought, that even after all my previous fuck-ups, she'd give me another chance. Cry about how unbearable this pain is. She wraps her arms around my neck, pulling me down to her, and she begins to kiss and nip at my neck, and the feeling is arousing.

My phone begins to steadily vibrate, but I ignore it dropping myself to her lips again trying desperately to forget about her. Hoping every kiss would push her further out my mind. Hoping that the more I put into this girl, the more I'd forget this constant pain that was in my chest.

Hoping, but it wasn't helping.

She was the only thing that was on my mind, even as this girl laid in front of me, sprawled out completely ready for what I was going to give her, she was the only thing I thought about. I wondered what she was doing, how she was feeling, what she was thinking, and, selfishly, if she was thinking of me.

"Hey!" She called me out of my thoughts. "What are you waiting for?"

I open my mouth to speak, but close it right after not really sure how to answer her question. What was I waiting for? I try to contemplate my procrastination, but I can't find something that's stopping me, but someone. It's like her influence is still over my head even when she refuses to still be part of my life...or maybe I'm just not drunk enough. I focus my attention on her again, and just shrug me shoulders. She scoffs underneath me.

"Well then are we gonna..." she searches for the words looking around the room. "Get this show on the road?" She questions me, her blue eyes burning into mine. I stare into her eyes for about thirty seconds before, again, shrugging. She groans under me before pushing me to the side so she could get free. In a fit of anger she throws on her clothes, the annoyance clear on her face. I sit up and watch her as she takes another quick look at me, a look of disappointment, then storms out of the room, as if she wasn't upset that we didn't sleep together, she was hella beautiful too....

I get up to go towards the window and open it fully. The window isn't high up, but one of those that are as high as you're knee.I look out the window, getting a pretty view of the moon from this insanely high room in the three story house. I stick my head out the window staring at the gentle moon and how it sort of resembled me. Not in an appearance-based way but personality-like. There's one side of the moon, fully illuminated, shown to the whole world, but just one side. There's a whole side that is never seen, and it's left in its lonesome. If you attempted to see that side it would be suicide, it would be best left to itself. Just like me. I have one side everyone knows, and another that select few have seen. The 'Zayn' only people you really trust would know, the side of me that tears near innocent girls apart, girls like Reign Summers.

I grab the closest chair to me, and pull it right up to the window. I reach into my pocket pulling of the almost near done box of cigarettes I brought this morning, and I light it, letting the bitter sweet smoke fill my lungs as I take a drag. I blow it out slowly, letting the taste stay in my mouth for as long as I could before taking another drag.

I sigh slowly as I watch the moon wishing that I could be up there like it in isolation, where I couldn't hurt any of the other people that I cared about.

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Oooohhh Zayn :/

Love you guys!!

~Shay