Faded (A Sam Winchester love story) [DISCONTINUED]

Chapter nineteen

•I bow down to pray
I try to make the worst seem better
Lord, show me the way
To cut through all his worn out leather
I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away • Million Reasons by Lady Gaga
(I recommend you to hear the song while reading it)
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**Sophie's POV**
"Did I did something wrong??" I quickly said as Sam and me entered to the room. He didn't answer, just kept silent. "Sam??" I asked with a shaky voice because I was really getting nervous. What did I did wrong?? What did I did to him that he didn't liked?? How I messed up this time?? "Sophie..." he started saying only to be cut off by me, "Are you braking up with me??" I said looking at him trying to contain the tears that were threatening to fall. "Just listen please" he said taking a step near me. I just nodded and waited for him to speak. We were in absolute silence for five long minutes, i was going to say something but Sam cut me off, "I cheated on you" he said lowering his head, but my reaction was the exact opposite, my head snapped towards him with the tears that I was holding, now free falling through my face. I... i was so shocked. "What??" I said with a shaky voice. I really don't know why I said that, I heard and understood that four words perfectly clear... I.CHEATED.ON.YOU. I started trying harder not to let more tears fall but failed, I just couldn't take it. Why?? That's the real question that I should have asked. Why?? I just couldn't believe it, I protected him, I was with him, I helped him through rough times, I loved him... and he cheated on me, why?? "I'm sorry Sophie" he said taking me out of my trance. I just looked at him now angry. How could he do that?!?! I just couldn't... I tried to say something to him, opening and closing my eyes with now more tears falling from my eyes. I shook my head and said, "Why??" He looked at me and said, "Because it was a mistake..." now I was more angry, what poor excuse he had used "A mistake Sam, really?!? You even know thats not a good excuse" I yell at him furious. HOW HE WAS CAPABLE OF DOING THAT?!?! "Really Sophie it was a damn mistake..." he said trying to reach my face so he could put a hand on my cheek, but at the same time his hand reached my face, I took it away and dropped it. "How dare you?!?! Don't even touch me!!" I yelled at him. I was made a mess: with tears from sadness and anger. "Sophie..." he started but I just couldn't resist it and slapped him. Hard. "No, just, don't. Don't even try to. I thought that I fucked up, like I always do!!! I thought that I have said or did something you didn't like!!! But guess what??? I'm not the one that messed up." I said angry watching how Sam looked at me amused. "You know what else?!?! I FUCKING LOVE YOU!!! I trusted you!!! And you cheated on me!!! Really Sam?!?!" I asked now crying harder. He tried again to reach to me but I just stood back. "Don't." I said sternly. He looked at me with tears in his eyes but I just shrugged it off and started packing my stuff. "Don't Sophie... please" he said. I continued to put my stuff in my bag and when I finished I zipped it and hanged it on my shoulder. I started walking to the door my back facing to Sam, when I opened the door and I heard Sam voice, "Please Sophie... don't leave me" he said with a breaking voice from crying. I turned to look at him now calmed down and said, "Why?? I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away,Sam... so tell me one good reason to stay???" I asked him. I knew I just left him speechless. I used my shirt sleeve to clean up the tears from my face and said, "Say goodbye to Dean for me, please" i said sternly not knowing what else to say. He just nodded knowing that he wasn't going to convince me to stay, this time he really messed up. I started walking away when I felt the urge to say something else. I stood frozen at my place and then taking the final look at Sam said, "I hope you know I tried my best with you, that I tried to be a better person, tried to not turn into a demon like my father. But I failed, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not being enough to you. I'm sorry for not being perfect to you. I'm truly sorry. And..." I was going to finish but I couldn't because I wanted to cry so so bad. "And..." I gulped and let it out, "And I hope you know that I loved you with all my life Samuel"
That were my last words as I started walking away from the motel... and from my lover.

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A/N: well, hey guys!!! So I just wanted to say hope you enjoyed the chapter and also I tried something new with this chapter that was putting music to it. Really hope you enjoy and late happy new year
~Sophie