Prelude
“Sam, are you serious?” Ben choked out, sliding a shirt over his head. “Talk to me! Sam!”
“I don’t want to talk about it Ben,” I shouted angrily. “Just leave me the fuck alone. Ok? You’ve done enough damage.”
“Sam, I – I’m sorry,” he pleaded. “I am. You don’t mean this. I know you don’t – “
“Get out,” I muttered cutting him off completely.
“But Sam,” he said his voice cracking a little. “I love you. I – I love you. You know I - “
“I said get out! Leave! LEAVE BEN!” I shouted my nostrils flaring now. “Got damn it! Just go.”
Ben nodded complacently. A deathly silence echoed through the room. Tears streaming down his face and he tried to wipe them away. His eyes were bloodshot and his nose a cherry red. I always remembered this part. I could never remember the argument itself. What had we been arguing about?
I could never remember that part. But I always remembered the end of the argument.
“Sam, I’ll leave then,” he choked out in between sobs. “It’s obvious that that’s what you want.”
I didn’t look at him. I picked up the lamp beside me and threw it at the wall. It crashed against it and smashed into a million pieces against the cherry wood floor. The door behind me quickly slammed shut and Ben was gone.
My eyes flickered open quickly. My body was sticky with sweat as I tossed the covers off. I slid a pair of sweats on, and moved into the bathroom. I splashed cold water on my face, glancing up at the mirror in front of me. My eyes were bloodshot, and dark rings lied underneath them. I hadn’t been able to sleep normally in weeks. I opened my cabinet, pulling out my Ambien. I popped one in my mouth, quickly sloshing water around to force it down.
I returned to bed, sliding the covers back over me. I glanced at the empty side beside me, a tear or two sliding down the side of my face. I wiped it off quickly, forcing my eyes shut. Before I knew it, I was asleep again.
I
“And we are truly grateful for Mr. Mitchell’s donation. He is a true asset to us and this organization would not be possible without his generous contribution every year. It is my honor to present you with this award. Samuel Mitchell, everyone! Let’s give him a round of applause,” Sarah, the head of Beat It Cancer charity, spoke. A smile appeared on her face as I stood up, brushing my suit off, as I walked up to the stage. All eyes were focused on mine as I moved to the podium to receive my award.
“Say a few words,” Sarah said handing the mic to me. I nodded taking the mic from her hand quickly.
“Thank you for this. Every year I donate to the Beat it! Organization and it is truly devoted to its cause. Without the wonderful research and community service aid in which it partakes in many would be unable to afford the treatment that they need. I am truly honored to even be a name in this organization. Thank you again. Now how about a round of applause for Sarah and all of the wonderful people involved at Beat it!” I said as a round of applause sounded. I gave Sarah a quick kiss on the cheek, before I stepped off the stage.
I always felt awkward at these things. I sat back down at my table, taking a quick sip of water.
“You did great,” Alison replied. “For someone who hates these charity events, you sure can speak well at them.”
“I just don’t see the point of these things,” I muttered taking a sip from my glass. “It’s a waste of money.”
“You think I like coming here with you,” his voice echoed in the back of mind. “You hate Sarah. I don’t even know why you waste your money on this shit.”
