“Everything is going to be alright,” Liz said rubbing my back.
“No it’s not,” I huffed. “You should have seen him. He was so mad. I don’t think he wants anything to do with me, Liz. He called me a liar and a man.”
“Well, do you blame him, Dylan? You have lied to him for ten plus years,” she explained. “Did you expect him to just accept it? He needs some time.”
“I hope so,” I sighed, falling onto the couch.
“He loves you, if he didn’t, he wouldn’t have married you,” Liz explained. “He’ll come around."
“Ok,” I nodded. “Time – I can do that. I can give him time. But I want to see him, Liz. I miss Sean.”
“I know you do,” she nodded. “Do you want me to send Mark over to talk to him?”
“No,” I sighed. “I don’t want Mark to know. I think the less people that know the better. God, I just want to wake up from this nightmare.”
“I know,” Liz said rubbing my back. “I know. So, I know this might not be a good time to tell you this, but the doctor in Philadelphia called. Your appointment is the day after tomorrow.”
“Liz,” I sighed.
“I know you’re worried about Sean and everything, but this is about you, Dylan,” Liz said. “It’s your decision – no one else’s.”
“You’re right,” I nodded. “I should – We should go. It’ll take my mind off of Sean, but before we leave could you let him know for me. Also, tell him that I love him.”
“I can do that,” Liz nodded.
And that very next day, Liz and I flew to Philadelphia. I couldn’t help but think about Sean. I thought maybe if I went and heard the consultation, it would ease my mind, but it didn’t. I missed Sean too much and not to mention, my kids. I hadn’t been home in more than three days. That was the longest I had ever been away from them and now I had to sit through talk about this procedure and pretend like everything was fine. At least Liz was here. I wouldn’t be able to go through this alone.
Liz and I sat in the waiting room, anxiously waiting for the doctor to call my name. There wasn’t anyone besides the two of us here, so I figured we’d be called soon.
“I miss Sean,” I sighed. “What did he say when you told him I was leaving?”
“He didn’t say anything Dylan – he just nodded,” Liz replied. “I’m sorry, babe – I tried.”
“Dylan Anderson,” the nurse said, appearing from the door.
“Whatever it’s now or never,” I shrugged as Liz followed me into the doctor’s office.
“Hello Dylan! Nice to meet you, I’m Dr. Reynolds,” a gentleman said shaking my hand. “How are you doing today?”
“Fine,” I nodded.
“So, you’re here today to talk about genital reassignment surgery is that correct?” he asked flipping through my file.
“That is so,” I replied. “I believe Liz here has sent you all of the necessary forms.”
“Oh yes – We have that,” he nodded. “It seems you’re on top of everything. But I have a few questions before we proceed with anything. Is Liz your partner?”
“Oh no,” Liz said shaking her head. “I’m her primary physician.”
“I’m married,” I replied. “My husband isn’t here.”
