Why is that when you're single all you see are happy couples, but when you’re in a relationship all you see are happy single people? You can never win. I guess it’s because I’m never satisfied, but I was at that point in my life where all I wanted to do was settle down. I needed to find the right person though. It just seems like everyone had something wrong them though. Either they were bipolar, schizophrenic, OCD, depressed, pre-set family, in the middle of a divorce and even suffering from premarital jitters. Were there any normal people left in this world?
So, yeah – that’s what I was thinking about while I was sitting in a bar on a Thursday at 4 in the afternoon with all the other alcoholics. Call me a pessimist, but I think I may just end up sad and lonely for the rest of my life. Well, that’s what I thought until he sat two seats away from me. He was twisting his wedding band on his finger impatiently, as he bit his lower lip. He let out a deep sigh as he rubbed his eyes.
I stared at him for a moment in confusion. He was a glowing tan color, wearing a suit I could never afford, shoes I could never afford and a watch I could afford if I didn’t buy groceries for two weeks – he was attractive and way out of my league. Hell, we weren’t even playing the same sport. He ran his fingers through his chocolate brown hair as he ordered a drink. I glanced away as soon as he noticed me staring. I casually looked into my glass as I felt his stare on me. It was so intense it could burn a hole through the side of my face.
Well, things just got a lot awkward.
“Hey,” he called out. I took a swig from my drink, completely ignoring him. He couldn’t possibly be talking to me.
“Hey!” he said again. I turned towards him and pointed to myself. He nodded as he moved closer to me.
“What’s your name?” he asked his hazel-green eyes fixated on mine.
“Liam,” I replied casually extending a hand to him.
“Liam is that short for William?” he asked. I nodded.
“What’s your name?”
“Dorian,” he muttered. “Dorian Anderson.”
“Dorian like Dorian Grey,” I acknowledged.
“Yeah my mother was reading the book at the time,” he continued. “So, Will – I need your opinion on something?”
“Sure,” I nodded. “I’m all ears.”
“If you walked in on your wife screwing another man for the third time and you leave her and she takes all your money and your house and your kids, what would stop you from murdering her?” he asked boldly. “I’m just curious.”
“Umm . . .”
“Yeah that’s what I thought,” Dorian continued.
And that leads me back to my earlier point that no one in this world is normal. But then again, who likes normal people? I guess that’s just something that you had to accept in the dating world. Everyone has flaws. But there was something interesting about Dorian aside from the fact that he might be out to kill his wife and that he was named after a fictional character from perhaps one of the creepiest novels of all time.
He had everything that I dreamed of – a fancy house, job, wife, kids but he wasn’t satisfied. The world had pissed on him too and now he had lost everything.
“Now that you’ve talked about it, its pre-meditated,” I chimed in. “You’ll do longer in jail, so that should stop you from murdering her. Plus a guy like you probably wouldn’t do so well in jail.”
“True,” Dorian nodded ordering himself a shot of whiskey straight. “Do you want something? Can I buy you another of whatever you’re drinking?”
“Uh sure,” I nodded. “Thanks.”
That’s how I met Dorian Anderson. After that day, he and became close friends. I mean I was attracted to him from the start. Who wouldn’t be? He was just one of those guys. The thing about it though was that Dorian was absolutely positively straight like as straight as a pole. I – on the other hand – was not. I mean I intended to tell him that I wasn’t. I really did but as soon as we became friends I didn’t. I mean it never really came up.
That’s how I became that guy. The secret closeted friend who was secretly in love with his straight friend. That was the guy I never wanted to be. I swore in high school I would never be that guy. Then Dorian Anderson had to come along. He just had to talk to me in that bar.
“Liam,” I heard a continuous knock on my door. I sighed as I rolled out of bed, hitting the floor. The knocking persisted. He would keep on knocking and shouting until I answered the damn door. I groaned as I walked towards the door and opened it wide, half asleep.
“Oh you’re awake,” he chuckled sarcastically pushing past me and walking straight into my shitty apartment. I glanced at the clock to see it was one in the morning. One in the morning and he decided he wanted to drop by.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I rasped. “It’s one in the morning just in case you were wondering.”
“I was in the neighborhood and I didn’t want to drive all the way back to my place,” he said opening my fridge and shuffling around. “How old is this Chinese food?”
“I bought it today,” I mumbled rubbing my eyes. “You can have it.”
“Thanks,” he said shoving it into the microwave. “God – I am starving. So, how was my night you ask?”
“I didn’t ask and I don’t care,” I sighed. But I knew he was going to tell me anyways. This was typical Dorian – Drop by unannounced at odd hours, eat my food, and talk my ear off about his nightime hookups. I might as well give him the key to my apartmen,t so he can stop waking me up at night.
“So I went to that club on Zion, met this really hot woman, like a ten out of ten, perfect breasts, nice firm ass, slim waist and eyes to die for. She was smart, had a good job, no kids, didn’t smoke, turned out she was everything a woman down to her genitals,” Dorian chuckled. “I was severely disappointed.”
“So you didn’t bang her?” I asked rubbing my eyes.
“No, I didn’t bang her but I let her suck me off,” Dorian winked.
“That’s nice,” I replied sarcastically my eyes beginning to close. I was on the verge of sleep, until the microwave went off. I glanced up at Dorian as he grabbed a fork and chowed down on my food.
“Liam – Why don’t you have a girlfriend?” Dorian asked.
“Why don’t you?” I mumbled.
“Why do I need a girlfriend when I have you?” Dorian teased slapping me in the face. “You cook, clean, fold my laundry, pick up my dry cleaning, and take care of my kids when I ask – Why would I need one of those?”
“So someone else can do all of those things,” I huffed shoving him lightly.
“That was delicious,” Dorian said tossing my takeout into the trash. “Time to put you to bed mister.”
Dorian grabbed my arm and pulled me into my bedroom, forcing me into my own bed. I groaned as he pulled the covers over me.
“Nighty night, Liam,” Dorian chuckled. “I’m through disturbing you. Sleep tight - Oh wait, do I need to tell you a bed time story to put you asleep?”
“Get out,” I groaned throwing a pillow at his face.
“Cranky,” Dorian said closing my bedroom door behind him. I chuckled as he left. Although Dorian annoyed me most days – I couldn’t help, but not be mad at him. I was in love with him and I could never say no to him because of that. He was the reason I couldn’t maintain a decent relationship.
Any guy I ever dated couldn’t compete with him. They always broke up with me because of Dorian. Dorian didn’t know that because Dorian didn’t know I was gay so he never met any of his boyfriends. But my boyfriend’s knew Dorian. Boy! Oh Boy! They knew him. One of them threatened to physically harm him.
So, I gave up on dating. How could I give away a heart that was already taken?
