Fractured

Chapter 29

Chapter 29

There have been multiple times in my life where I knew I was close to death.  Close enough to know that one little push, one more breath or second, could cause it all to end.  Cause me to go under and never be able to come back.  At times, I would have thought that to be my best option, to just die.  Prior to Luke entering my life, I didn't see much of a use to live.  There was nothing appealing about continuing on this path of misery, abuse, and ache of just knowing there was no way of fixing it.  From Clare's beatings, to sleeping in alleys, to knowing I couldn't escape my branding of insanity... that it would be nice if everything just stopped.  If I didn't need to live in a place so cruel.   Death sounded like paradise.

Then, I came home.  Sure it wasn't the warmest welcome in the world.  An attractive cop pinned me down and arrested me.  It was almost funny to know that that was the start of my own healing.  Of my eyes opening wider and that I needed to value the fact that I have fought on my whole life.  I've been through so much... and it would make death seem like an incredibly unfortunate ending in a way.  Would those struggles fade and I wouldn't have to live like that anymore.  Yes.  But it was those struggles, that fighting back, the countless heartbreaking moments that would make it worth it.  Because if death took me, all that fighting would have been for nothing. That's why the next few moments were some of the hardest in my life to process.

My heart beating a thousand beats per minute, it drove a fear in me that felt like I had been stabbed in my stomach.  It spread through my body and I couldn't stop it.  Because I knew that he wouldn't lie over this, that this would mean major trouble here.  And looking up into his brown eyes, I saw the amount of hate in them.  Bottled up rage at what happened, at what I let happened to his nephew.  The man was shaking and by this point, I was either close to that point or absolutely frozen in place.  Two completely different things yet during this moment, they were close to the same.  My entire body wanted to shut down, leaving my eyes wide and permanently fixed on him. 

"Y-You're his uncle?" I asked, clasping my lips tight shut after hearing the quivering in my voice.  This could mean so many things... and they weren't good!  Things he could do to me.  There were so many options, scenarios going through my head.  Everyone of them ended in me being too damaged to return. 

He gave me a very tense grin, one that was true at having me here and helpless and at seeing how this was affecting me.  He took pride in seeing the terror cross my face, at realizing what this could mean.  And that was that I knew he wanted to finish me off.

"Yes.  I am," he whispered under his breathy and somewhat shaky voice. 

Looking into his eyes, seeing his rage, I felt my heart roll around in agony, screaming... and screaming.  It resulted in my fast and wheezy breathing. I wanted to get up, move away from him.  But I was frozen in place as he turned towards me, with that smug smile on his face.  He knew he had his prey.  His animal in a cage, his prized possession.  And I was delivered by none other than the woman that I was realizing probably knew his uncle worked here.   Mark's uncle....  Jesus fuck! 

I felt trapped more than I have in a very long time.  It wasn't the best feeling in the world either.  In fact, at the moment, I was convinced it was the worst.  So hopeless... so damn hopeless!  There wasn't anything I could do!  I felt like an animal my whole life.  Stared at and on display in a cage.  Nothing of worth for anyone that would look at me, as if I was the center of their amusement.  Now, it was more real than ever before to my eyes.  At least before, I could always try to run.  Now, I couldn't.  I was stuck here.  With him to do whatever he wants to me.  I was sure that was a reality to many patents here.  However, I wasn't an ordinary patient.  I was Albany Higgins, the most famous freak show around and classified insane.  It must have been a treat for them to have me in their possession. I would get special treatment.  And when I say 'special' I meant torturous most likely.  They knew me to have beaten up on people before, to be a slut, someone that deserved no mercy for all the untrue things I've done.  They would please many people if they didn't hold back on hurting me in whatever way they could.  At this point, on top of all that, knowing this guy was Mark's uncle didn't help me one bit.  That was probably the most threatening part to me.